R.I.P. Ian Poulter

So Ian Poulter is an English professional golfer who some people consider to be “an asshole”.  And hey, I agree.  Fuck Ian Poulter.  For those of you that aren’t golf fans, let me give you a little rundown of this little British piece of shit.

So Ian Poulter is a big name on the European Tour and has made some waves over here in the States on the PGA Tour.  But he is most known over here for asshole interviews and just being a little bitch.  He has two career wins on the PGA Tour, both WGC events, which are a big deal if you don’t know golf.

So you ask, “Hey, why is this guy so bad?”  Let me tell you..

I’m way tooo jealous of his Ferrari Collection.


Really cool huh?  My favorite part about this whole thing is that he keeps it very low-key.. Just kidding…


Fuck this guy.  Fellow golfer, Jason Gore, responded to Ian being such a fuck in his own way.


Even other golfers on tour hate this guy. But with dozens of stories to choose from, one last one really chaps my ass.

Last year at the Valspar Open, one fan heckled Poulter by saying that he hopes Poulter doesn’t make the Ryder Cup team and that he will hit it into the water on his next tee shot.


So obviously the only reasonable response for Poulter is to think to himself, “You know what? I do a lot of things that piss people off. Of course I’m getting heckled.  Let’s move on and go do my best.” So clearly Poulter will just move on right…?  WRONG.


BREAKING NEWS: This fucking worked. Ian Poulter got this guy fired because he made a few comments and Ian hit a ball in the water. Fuck you Ian.

So the whole reason I bring him up is that this week at the Valero Texas Open, Ian Poulter can lose his PGA Tour Card. HA!  He needs $30,624 to keep his card. That’s a 2-way T-36. 4-way T-35. Or 7-way T-34. Anything lower than that and HE IS GONE.  Sponsor’s exemptions are the only things that can save him.

Fuck Ian Poulter.  Use the hashtag #FuckIanPoulter this week and flood his mentions so he feels the wrath.  Such a dick.  Worst of luck to him.


UPDATE: Ian Poulter shoots a 75 in round 1 and is T-128.  Could not be a better start for all of my Ian Poulter haters.  Seriously fuck this guy and I hope he bombs yet again in the 2nd round. We as Americans need to hate this guy. Fuck.

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