May 29th 2017. Rockford, IL. Memorial Day.
My little sister and I had just been talking about the guy. We were sharing our mutual aversion to Donald Trump when one of us brought up a guy you’ll often see driving around the city. He drives a big ol’ AMURICAN Hummer with massive dual ‘TRUMP’ flags flying from the rear. Even if you haven’t had the pleasure of seeing this thing in the wild, it’s always popping up on peoples snapchat stories and other social media.
Flash-forward an hour or two, I’m driving down East State and… Well, wouldn’t ya fucking know it. Our favorite Hummer is driving ahead of me. Amused with the coincidence, I snap my sister a video.
All was well as we took the double turn lane left onto Perryville. I was now in front of the guy, in the lane to his left. Actually, everyone was in the lane to his left. Probably because we were all capable of reading that the right lane was closed for construction.
Honestly, I can’t say I was exactly shocked when I realized the Hummer was going to try to bypass the line and cut into the left lane at the last second. Now, call it petty, but I don’t let in entitled pricks who clearly knew the lane was ending. So, I snug up to the car in front of me and leave the guy no room. Unfortunately, I didn’t consider that the entitled prick was a psychopath on top of it.
The Hummer realized I wasn’t letting him in so he kamikazes his way into the left lane, forcing me onto the shoulder. Just to be clear, I don’t mean slowly forced me over. The fuckhead cranked his wheel left and didn’t give a single shit if he rammed into me. If I hadn’t reacted on instinct, I would have let the thin skinned overcompensating twat hit me and total the car. But I swerved left and then back into my lane behind him. He promptly slammed his breaks and forced me to stop inches of his rear end.
At this point I lay on the horn and hold my finger out of the window. (I’m sure he’s never seen that one before /s). The right lane reopens and he gets on my right side again. At this point I am blasting Kendrick Lamar’s ‘Humble’ and enjoying the idea of Kendrick shouting BE HUMBLE at a douchebag in a hummer with over sized Trump flags hanging from the back.
This is my first look at the guy and it didn’t disappoint. I love when assholes fall in line with their common stereotypes. He looked exactly how you’d expect. White, skinhead, with tattoos. The kind of guy you’d expect to hear asking you to place your mouth on a curb.
I can’t recall if he was yelling at me. I wouldn’t have been able to hear him anyways. Just like I doubt he could hear any of the insults I was throwing his way. Although, I did piss him off enough that he tried running me off the road again.
Welcome to Trump’s America.