Well, I figured 7 seasons is enough to not watch the show right?  It must be okay for everyone and their mother to be OBSESSED with the show.  So I did it.  I finally jumped into the life changing event that is HBO’s Game of Thrones and let me tell you that so far it is living up to the hype so I just wanted to get my thoughts out there without seeing someone’s face change when I bring up a character that dies or hearing their tone change in their voice if I say I like someone and they turn out to be a villain.

I kept some notes in my phone for each episode that I will put after each episode’s recap and I just wanted to share my thoughts.  The recaps are literally ripped from Wikipedia, by the way.  If you have not started the show, stop reading this right now and go start.  This shit is like crack and I can’t get enough.


Episode 1 – Winter is Coming

In the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros, a soldier of the ancient Night’s Watch order survives an attack by supernatural creatures known as the White Walkers, thought until now to be myth. He rushes to Castle Winterfell, which is ruled by Eddard “Ned” Stark, Warden of the North, who decapitates the soldier for deserting his post. In King’s Landing, the capital, Jon Arryn, the “Hand of the King”, dies under mysterious circumstances. King Robert Baratheon, Ned’s longtime friend, travels to Winterfell, offering the position to him and also proposing marriage between his firstborn son Joffrey and Ned’s older daughter Sansa. Ned’s wife Catelyn receives a letter from her sister Lysa, Jon Arryn’s widow, saying that she has escaped King’s Landing and that Jon was murdered by the Lannisters, Queen Cersei‘s family. Catelyn burns the letter and tells Ned, about it, believing that the Lannisters are plotting against Robert. Ned’s 10-year-old son, Brandon, climbs a tower, where he witnesses Cersei having sex with her twin brother, Jaime, who then pushes him out the window from a presumably fatal height. Meanwhile across the narrow sea in Essos, the exiled Prince Viserys Targaryen makes a deal with the Dothraki warlord Khal Drogo, who marries Viserys’ younger sister, Daenerys, in exchange for an army to conquer Westeros and reclaim the Iron Throne.

Thoughts: Stark seems to be awesome.  Fuck the twin brother for pushing the kid out the window but also fuck that kid for climbing.  Don’t be so nosey.  Also, Queen Cersei is an absolute Rocket.  10/10.  She is hot as balls but also is powerful and is a total bitch and for some reason that works for me.  I bet she smells awesome even though soap was not invented at that time… I’m pretty sure..


Episode 2 – The Kingsroad

Having accepted his new role as the Hand of the King, Ned leaves Winterfell with his daughters Sansa and Arya, while Catelyn stays behind to tend to Bran. The unconscious Bran is attacked by an assassin, but his direwolf saves him. Catelyn decides to go to King’s Landing to tell Ned about the attempt and suspected Lannister involvement. Jon Snow, Ned’s illegitimate son, heads north to join the brotherhood of the Night’s Watch, protectors of the Wall that keeps the White Walkers and the wildlings from entering civilized Westeros. Tyrion, Cersei’s brother, decides to forgo the trip south with his family and instead accompanies Snow’s entourage to the Wall. When Joffrey threatens Arya and her friend, Arya’s direwolf defends her and escapes, provoking a conflict between the Starks and the Lannisters. To resolve the insult, Robert orders Ned to execute Sansa’s direwolf. In Winterfell, Brandon awakens from unconsciousness. Meanwhile, Daenerys focuses her attention on learning how to please Drogo.

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Thoughts: Okay, that really sucks ass that Ned has to leave his wife.  She seems cool as shit.  Bran should be dead twice already and we are only two episodes into the series.  This guy is lucky as shit.  Those wolves are such badasses too by the way.  Jon Snow is super cool and admirable which makes him a fan favorite which makes me worried about him because shit always happens to the fan favorite in popular shows.  I also like the Imp.  Hes funny and acts the same way I would if I were in his situation.  Joffrey is suuuuuch a bitch.  Watching Arya basically bully him was awesome.  This dude is such a punk and when he cried because he was bitten and then had the wolf killed just strengthened my hatred for him.  Fuck that guy.  And finally, Daenerys is an absolute dime and I hope she gets to be bad ass bitch.


Episode 3 – Lord Snow

Ned joins the King’s Small Council at King’s Landing, capital of the Seven Kingdoms, and learns just how poorly Westeros is being managed. Catelyn tries to covertly warn her husband, but is intercepted by an old friend, Councillor Petyr “Littlefinger” Baelish. Bran learns he will never walk again. He does not remember the events leading to his fall. Jon struggles to adapt to life on the Wall, as he trains with a number of low-born recruits who are not impressed by his bloodline. Lord Commander Mormont asks Tyrion to plead with the King to send more men to the Night’s Watch. Daenerys learns that she is pregnant, and begins to stand up to Viserys.

Thoughts: Okay, first off, fuck this Littlefinger guy.  you were friendzoned like 20 years ago.  Get over it.  You’re soft and Ned is a total badass.  Ned is the GoT version of a heartthrob.  Great smile but total warrior and provider and everything a guy needs in that era.  Littlefinger has nothing of value to bring to the table.  He owns a brothel and is the definition of skeeze.  Daenerys being pregnant is big but it will be weird to see how hot she is if she is pregnant.


Episode 4 – Cripples, Bastards and Broken Things

Tyrion the Imp creates a saddle blueprint for Bran so he can ride a horse while being unable to walk.  The Imp seems like a cool ass dude.  Ned starts to poke around for answers of why the previous Hand died and stumbled upon the King’s son with a whore.  We meet Sam, who is a new member of the Night’s Watch.  Jon befriends Sam because Sam is a whimp and is getting bullied by the other members of the Night’s Watch.  Lady Stark captures the Imp because she think he was the one who hired the assassin to kill Bran.  And finally, Daenerys’s brother is being a little bitch and fighting with her over power of when he becomes king.

Thoughts: The Imp is tied with Arya for being my favorite character so far.  I’m sure Ned is going to find something while poking around to get him in trouble.  I don’t trust those two banging twins at all.  Sam is absolutely adorable.  He reminds me of Neville from Harry Potter and I hope his character grows and gains confidence like Neville did.  And Daenerys’s brother is just as big of a little bitch as Joffrey is.  I hate him.


Episode 5 –  The Wolf and the Lion

Ned refuses to participate in Robert’s plan to assassinate the pregnant Daenerys Targaryen, and resigns as Robert’s Hand, angering him. Catelyn and Tyrion (who she has taken as her prisoner) arrive at her sister Lysa’s home in the Eyrie. News of Tyrion’s capture reaches King’s Landing where Jaime Lannister, the Queen’s twin brother, demands answers from Ned. A vengeful Jaime fights Ned until his man stabs Ned in the leg from behind, leaving him wounded as his forces leave the capital.

Thoughts: The King wants to kill Daenerys in order to end the Targaryen name to avenge his ex and Ned’s sister.  Ned is too damn nice when it comes to this, in my opinion.  Just kill her.  So many people get killed for so much less and now when it comes to a strategic move and a vengeful move, you don’t want to kill someone? Come on.  But my main takeaway from this episode is how much I hate Cat’s sister.  This chick is a psycho bitch and the breast feeding is ridiculous.  That kid is such a little punk and pussy and he is just as bad as that bitch-boy Joffrey.  Seeing how Catelyn and Ned raised their kids to be huge badasses and how Lysa has raised her son to become such a punk.  He needs an ass-whooping real quick.  I would love to watch Arya kick the shit out of Joffrey and this little bitch.


Episode 6 – A Golden Crown

Robert reappoints Ned as Hand and tasks him with running affairs until he returns from hunting. Villagers from Riverrun arrive in the throne room with news of atrocities committed by raiders, who Ned deduces were led by Gregor Clegane, a Lannister retainer. Ned sentences Gregor to death and sends a message to Tywin Lannister, summoning him to a trial. Ned decides to send Sansa, (now reconciled with Joffrey), and Arya back to Winterfell. Ned finds out that Joffrey is not Robert’s biological son. While out testing his new saddle, Bran is attacked by outlaws. Robb, Ned’s oldest son, and Theon, the fostered son of a fallen rebel king, save him. In the Vale, Tyrion demands a trial by combat, which Lysa accepts. She chooses Ser Vardis and Tyrion asks for a champion. The mercenary Bronn volunteers, killing Vardis and thereby obtaining Tyrion’s release. Meanwhile, Viserys becomes enraged with Drogo for not honoring his promise and attempts to kill Daenerys’ unborn child. Drogo kills Viserys by pouring molten gold on his head.

Thoughts: I’m going to be honest with you, I was drinking the night that I watched this and I had a few too many Rum & Cokes and I didn’t really follow why Ned sentenced the mountain to death but it seems like he led some raids and Ned didn’t like it.  Tyrion gets saved by this badass named Bronn who kicks that other dude’s ass and boom, the Imp lives on.  When Tyrion was confessing all of the sins he has committed, I was cracking the fricken heck up.  But the highlight of this episode was Viserys finally dying.  He tried to kill Daenerys’s unborn baby so Drogo poured some hot ass gold on his head to give him “his crown”.  It was awesome and I can see Daenerys becoming more and more of a badass, slowly but surely.


Episode 7 – You Win or You Die

In King’s Landing, Ned tells Cersei he knows she is involved with Jaime and none of her children are Robert’s. They soon learn that Robert has been critically wounded by a boar while hunting. A dying Robert names Ned as the “Protector of the realm” to rule until Joffrey reaches the legal age. Ned sends a message to Stannis, Robert’s brother, intending to enthrone him since Robert has no true heirs. Ned tells Petyr Baelish about his plan and asks him to gain the loyalty of the City Watch, the only force capable of overpowering Lannister forces loyal to Cersei. After Robert’s death, Ned, Baelish and the City Watch confront Cersei and Joffrey in the throne room, where Baelish and the City Watch betray Ned and attack his men. At the Wall, Ned’s younger brother Benjen goes missing during a foray beyond the Wall. Snow and Tarly are picked as stewards, with Jon assigned to Lord Commander Mormont. The duo swear their loyalties to the Night’s Watch. In Essos, Robert’s assassin is captured before he can poison Daenerys. Drogo vows to conquer the Seven Kingdoms and give it to his son. He starts marching towards Westeros.

Thoughts: First off, why the hell would you tell Cersei anything? 1.  She’s soooo hot, but the reason she’s super hot is because she has resting bitch face 24/7.  2. You know that she is shady and bangs her twin brother, so she is fucking nuts.  But he tells Cersei he knows of her and Jamie banging and that Joffrey is not the King’s son.  Dumb.  You just made an enemy out of the complete wrong person.  Also, that was the best effort to kill Daenerys? That guy that is with her is super smart and he saw right through that.  Why don’t you just send in a suicide mission and just kill her.  Idiots.


Episode 8 – The Pointy End

Arya manages to escape the Red Keep after her Braavosian sword master delays the guards sent to arrest her; Sansa is captured however. Robb hears the news and prepares the Northern armies to fight the Lannisters, leaving Bran behind to rule Winterfell. Lysa refuses to fight the Lannisters; and Catelyn leaves, joining Robb’s camp. Tyrion and Bronn are surrounded by Shagga and his men. Tyrion convinces them to escort him to Tywin to repay them. They arrive at Tywin’s camp, where the latter asks Shagga to help them in their confrontation with the Starks in exchange for payment. Joffrey appoints Tywin as the Hand. Sansa begs the former to show mercy upon Ned. Joffrey agrees if the latter recognizes his reign. At the Wall, some bodies affected by the White Walkers are found. In Essos, Drogo’s soldiers begin attacking nearby settlements, enslaving locals in order to sell them and gain the money to buy the ships necessary to pass the Narrow Sea.

Thoughts: One of the most underrated monster characters in this series so far is Arya’s dance teacher.  This dude was so flamboyant but still brought the heat and kicked some major ass.  It seems as if he is dead but he was manhandling those guards with a wooden sword.  You will be missed.  It was cool to see Tyrion with his defenses down and hear a little more of his backstory.  It makes me like him more and hate Jamie more.  The whole Lannister family are punks except that guy.  Joffrey wants some confession from Ned so fuck that.


Episode 9 – Baelor (Breaking Bad and Sons of Anarchy Spoilers Ahead)

The Stark army arrives at the Twins castle; and Catelyn convinces Lord Frey to let them pass and assist them by agreeing for marriage of Robb and Arya to Frey’s children in the future. Robb sacrifices 2000 soldiers in a confrontation with the Lannister army to capture Jaime. In a public hearing, Ned confesses to treason and publicly affirms Joffrey as rightful heir. However, rather than sentencing him to the Wall as had been negotiated, a vengeful Joffrey has him decapitated, while Cersei and other counselors object futilely. Sansa and Arya watch their father die: Sansa from the royal party and Arya from the crowd. At the Wall, Jeor Mormont gives his family sword to Jon in gratitude; Maester Aemon also reveals to Jon that Aemon is a Targaryen. In Essos, Drogo’s wound becomes septic and his death imminent. Daenerys convinces a slave woman to use blood magic to save him. The woman tells everyone to leave the tent and stay outside until the spell is over. Daenerys begins labor, and Jorah brings Danerys into the forbidden tent seeking aid.

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Thoughts: This was one of the greatest/worst episodes I have ever watched.  I don’t care about Robb and Arya getting engaged or even about Daenerys giving birth, I care about Eddark Stark.  This has to be one of the biggest twists in television history.  I’m sure there will be more and more twists in this series, but this one was incredible.  I can’t think of a better way to build a villain than to have that villain kill the beloved main character.  And on top of it, having that main character’s daughters watch it is even more incredible.  Sansa was literally feet away from his father’s death.  I can’t name many TV deaths like mentally affected like this one did.  Maybe Opie from Sons of Anarchy or Mike from Breaking Bad.  I lost sleep that night and I wanted to turn off the show right then, but I moved on to episode 10 just in case episode 9 was a dream… Fun Fact: It was not.


Episode 10 – Fire and Blood

The North secedes from the Seven Kingdoms and proclaims Robb as their king. With Jaime captured by the Starks and Robert’s brothers challenging Joffrey’s claim to the throne, Tywin appoints Tyrion as King’s Hand. Jon plans to desert his post at the Wall to avenge Ned, but his friends convince him to stay and he instead joins a Night’s Watch expedition to find Benjen beyond the Wall. Yoren, a Night’s Watch recruiter, helps Arya escape King’s Landing disguised as a boy while Joffrey plans to make Sansa his queen despite her father’s execution. Daenerys learns that her unborn son is dead and Drogo has been left in a vegetative state due to the witch’s treacherous magic. Daenerys ends Drogo’s life and lights a funeral pyre. She burns the witch alive alongside Drogo’s body and her three dragon eggs, and walks into the flames herself. When the embers die the following morning, Daenerys rises, unharmed, flanked by three newborn dragons. Jorah and other witnesses kneel before her.

Thoughts: If we are in the trust tree here, I wasn’t really focused on this episode.  I watched episode 8 and 9 before this in one night and my head was spinning.  Arya escaped, so that was cool.  Daenerys’s kid died but I’ll get over it.  The only thing that lifted my spirits in this season finale was seeing those three dragons on a naked Daenerys at the end of the episode.  I’m pumped to see where the next season brings us but I am still not doing well mentally after Ned’s death.  I want Joffrey’s head on a goddamn spear, the sooner the better.


Thank you for making it this far.  Let’s go with season 2 GoT.  I’m ready to avenge Ned and bring the wrath of the North to King’s Landing.  Fuck Joffrey.