Okie Dokie.  4 Seasons down and I can see why people have told me to hang on tight.  It is quite the emotional roller coaster.

Season 4 has been the most overall positive season so far.  I found myself wanting something to happen and then sit back and actually watch it happen.  That doesn’t seem to happen much in this show.  I usually sit back and say something out loud and then watch the opposite happen.  Example: The Red Wedding.  I was really excited to finally see a reunion with Arya and some members of her family.  But nope.  Rob and Cat are friggen dead.

But this is how I’m going to do it from now on, give you the Wiki recap per episode, then give you some little bullet points of the things that I care about.  If I don’t talk about something that went down in the episode, then I don’t really care for that story line.

So let’s get to Season 4.  If you have missed my Season 1, Season 2 or Season 3 recaps, find them HERE:

Season 1 | Season 2| Season 3


Episode 31 – “Two Swords”

Tywin oversees the reforging of Ice, the Stark ancestral sword, into two new swords, one for Jaime, who tries to deal with the loss of his sword hand and Cersei’s love, and one for King Joffrey as a wedding present. Prince Oberyn Martell, on behalf of his brother, Prince Doran of Dorne, arrives in King’s Landing with his paramour, Ellaria Sand, to attend the royal wedding and is welcomed by Tyrion. Oberyn openly reveals to Tyrion his motive for his visit: revenge against the Lannisters for the rape and murder of his sister, Elia, wife of Prince Rhaegar. In the North, while Styr and his group of cannibal Thenns reinforce TormundYgritte, and the other wildlings, Jon is released by Maester Aemon after confessing what he did during his time with the wildlings to gain information. In the RiverlandsArya and the Hound reclaim her sword, Needle, from Polliver, killing him and his men. In EssosDaenerys leads her army on a march towards Meereen, the last of the three great slave cities, though she is troubled by how her dragons are becoming less tame as they grow.

Thoughts:

  • This Oberyn guy seems pretty likable.  He holds a pretty nasty grudge and I can respect the hell out of that.  He hates the Lannisters and so do I, minus my boy Episode 1Tyrion.  I hope he comes and gets his revenge.  He can’t really kill them all, but I sure he can kill a few people on his list and do some damage.
  • These Thenns are disgusting.  They look like they all stayed in the pool for way too long and now it’s too late.  That is probably why they are such assholes.  Who knows.  I’m still a fan of Ygritte and her very nice teeth (I’m a big teeth guy).
  • Seeing Arya get Needle back felt good.  Seeing her just kill Polliver with ease also gets me a little pumped.  In a world like this, full of murderers and deceit, you need to become numb to death and killing and the more lives Arya takes, the more dangerous she gets.
  • As for Dany, of course her dragons are going to be crazy.  They are goddamn dragons.  Quit with the “Oh no, what do I do” routine and just embrace it.  They are your babies and they’re badasses.

Episode 32 – “The Lion and the Rose”

Roose Bolton returns to the Dreadfort, where he blames Ramsay for mistreating Theon, who has been brutalized into a subservient persona called ‘Reek’. The former decides to find and kill the remaining Stark children, Bran and Rickon, who threaten the legitimacy of his new title, while tasking Ramsay to reclaim the territories under Ironborn occupation. In Dragonstone, Melisandre orders several people to be burned as a tribute to the Lord of Light, to the delight of Queen Selyse and the disgust of Davos and Shireen. In King’s Landing, Tyrion ends his relationship with Shae to protect her from his family and has her shipped off to Pentos. Jaime begins training his left-handed swordplay with the help of Bronn. King Joffrey and Margaery Tyrell are wed. Later, at the Royal Wedding feast, tensions between Joffrey and Tyrion grow—just before the former succumbs to poisoned wine and dies. A grief-stricken Cersei accuses Tyrion of the murder and has him arrested, while Ser Dontos, a former knight, advises Sansa to leave with him in order to survive.
  • Seeing Theon complete his full transformation into Reek after being tortured is kind of nuts.  I honestly don’t even remember what Theon acts like.  Also, because I have no idea how the timeline works in this show, I don’t know how long he was being tortured.
  • The Red Woman is trouble.  That’s just facts.  How many lives have been lost because of the Lord of Light?  Too gosh darn many.  This lady is the kind of crazy hot lady my dad has been telling me about my whole life.  Gotta stay away, but just can’t.
  • I like the Jamie/Bronn combo.  I like how up front they both are about how they’re both bad people.  No games, just a little charm and honesty.
  • Now we get to the HIGHLIGHT OF THE SERIES thus far.  King Joffrey is dead! 206606.max-620x600Watching this was glorious.  I loved it.  It seemed painful as shit too, which helps.  The only part of the death that I didn’t like was that I wish somebody like Arya or Sansa had killed him and then talked to shit to him as he was dying.  He and his father had hurt the Starks so much that I thought a cool monologue would be how he went.  But either way, The King is Dead!

Episode 33 – “Breaker of Chains”

Tywin begins grooming Tommen to be the next king and enlists Oberyn and Mace Tyrell as his fellow judges for the impending trial of Tyrion, who decides to pick Jaime as his witness. Littlefinger, who hired Ser Dontos, kills him and smuggles Sansa out of King’s Landing. In the Riverlands, Arya and Sandor encounter a benevolent farmer and his daughter, whom Sandor robs, to Arya’s disgust. In Dragonstone, Davos tries to figure out how to replenish Stannis’ depleted forces and requests a loan from the Iron Bank of Braavos to pay for a group of mercenaries called the “Golden Company”. In the North, Sam, fearing for Gilly’s safety, has her and the baby moved out of Castle Black to nearby Mole’s Town. Meanwhile, the wildlings continue to raid northern villages. The Night’s Watch receive word that the band of Night’s Watch mutineers have set up camp at Craster‘s Keep. Jon tells the Watch to organize a party to attack the mutineers, as they cannot risk having any information about the weakness of Castle Black’s defenses leak to Mance Rayder‘s approaching army. Daenerys lays siege to Meereen.

Thoughts:

  • Tommen seems like a good fella.  I guess anyone who follows Joffrey would seem like a good guy, but Tommen seems to actually care about whether he is a good king or not.
  • Even though he helped get Sansa out of King’s Landing, I still can’t trust Littlefinger.  He is a selfish little rat (Physically and Figuratively) who will stab anyone in the back to survive.  He’s a bitch and I think Sansa can beat him up.
  • Jon just keeps making moves that I say to myself outloud.  I agree with everything that he does and I love his leadership.

Episode 34 – “Oathkeeper”

Daenerys successfully captures Meereen amidst a slave revolt and immediately seeks justice for the slain slave children by nailing 163 masters to posts. At sea, Littlefinger admits to Sansa that he was involved in Joffrey’s death. In King’s Landing, Olenna, who is planning to leave, also implies to Margaery that she was involved in the poisoning and convinces her to seduce Tommen before Cersei has a chance to turn him against her. Jaime meets with Tyrion and is convinced of his innocence. However, Cersei is adamant about Tyrion’s guilt and orders Jaime to hunt down and kill Sansa. Jaime instead tasks Brienne with finding and protecting her, giving her both his Valyrian sword and Podrick as her squire. In the North, in an effort to get rid of Jon, Alliser Thorne and Janos Slynt conspire to allow Jon to lead an expedition against the mutineers, who have captured Bran’s party and forced him to reveal his identity. Further north, a White Walker takes Craster’s last newborn son to a secret ritual site, where he is transformed into a Walker.
  • Daenerys is biting off a little more than she can chew.  She is the most beautiful character I have ever seen but I am not liking her decision making.  There are too many slave owners with money to win people’s opinions and I could definitely see these owners rebelling against her.
  • Seeing Olenna and Littlefinger just shows me how much Olenna hates the Lannisters.  I would never work with Littlefinger, but I guess when you are saving your family from Cersei, anyone who can help is welcome.
  • Jamie is getting more and more likeable each episode.  I didn’t think I would ever like him, but alas, here we are.
  • I wouldn’t mind seeing more behind the scenes stuff with the White Walkers.  By behind the scenes, I mean like how and where they live.  Seeing them take this baby and making him a Walker was sweet.  I want to see more White Walker stuff, and I’m sure I will very soon.

Episode 35 – “First of His Name”

Tommen is crowned king. Cersei meets with Margaery, Tywin, and Oberyn, hoping to sway them to her advantage in the coming trial against Tyrion. In the Vale, Littlefinger takes Sansa to the Eyrie, where she is to pose as his niece. He is then pressured to marry Lysa Arryn that same day. It is revealed that the pair killed Jon Arryn while framing the Lannisters. On the Kingsroad, the Hound catches Arya practicing her water dancing and angers her by mocking that fighting style and Syrio Forel. On the road, Brienne finds out that Podrick has no practical skills as a squire. However, she is impressed with the fact that he killed a Kingsguard in order to protect Tyrion. Beyond the Wall, Jon’s group attacks the mutineers. Locke attempts to kidnap Bran in the confusion but is killed by Hodor, warged into by Bran. Bran and his company then continue their trek north while Jon’s party kills all of the mutineers and burns down Craster’s Keep. In Meereen, after Jorah informs her about the fallback to slavery of Astapor and Yunkai, Daenerys decides to postpone her invasion of Westeros to bring order to Slaver’s Bay and pronounces herself queen.

Thoughts:

  • Lysa Arryn might crack my Mount Rushmore of my least favorite characters on the show.  She is gross looking and a terrible mother.  She has raised a punching bag who is supposed to rule one day, yet he sucks milk from his mother’s tit at the age of 15.  Now her and Littlefinger together makes me nauseous and I hope that ends GoTTommensoon.
  • The fighting scene at Craster’s shack was neat.  Again, I was denied my wish for a reunion scene with any member of the Stark family.  All I want is like a 10-second shot of two members of the family coming together and being happy.  Is that too much to ask?  Apparently in this show, it is.
  • Daenerys’ call to stay in Mareen has been her smartest move she has made in a while.  She was doing too much too fast with no experience of ruling.  Who would follow a Queen with no history of ruling any sort of Kingdom? Ja feel?

Episode 36 – “The Laws of God and Men”

In Essos, Davos manages to convince the Iron Bank to back Stannis while also resecuring Salladhor Saan and his pirates to Stannis’ cause. In Meereen, Daenerys attempts to take on her new role as queen as she listens to the requests of her subjects, including nobleman Hizdahr zo Loraq and a man whose goats were killed by Daenerys’ increasingly uncontrollable dragons. In the Dreadfort, Yara leads an attack in an effort to rescue Theon, who refuses to come with her, forcing her to escape. Ramsay rewards Theon for being obedient and, in order to take Moat Cailin, tasks him to pretend to be “Theon” instead of “Reek”. In King’s Landing, Tywin puts a bounty on the Hound’s head and instructs Varys to continue spying on Daenerys. Later that day, Tyrion is brought to trial for Joffrey’s murder. However, all of the witnesses brought in testify against him, including Ser Meryn TrantGrand Maester Pycelle, Cersei, Varys and, to Tyrion’s shock, Shae, who gives a solid testimony. Angry, humiliated, and defeated, Tyrion demands a trial by combat.
  • If it weren’t for Davos, Stannis would suck.  Davos is the only guy that keeps me interested in that storyline at all and as for the actual show, Stannis would not have any army if it weren’t for Davos.  What a guy.
  • Obviously these dragons are becoming more wild, they’re fucking dragons Dany.  Keep them wild because that is what makes them unpredictable, which is your advantage.
  • It really sucks watching Ramsey control Theon so well.  He is a great villain because of how uncomfortable he make me.  In a show where they constantly show heads being cut off, rape and torture, Ramsey’s personality is what really gets to me.
  • Nobody takes advantage of a good trial by combat like Tyrion.  The dude knows his loopholes and knows people will fight for him for the chances of unlimited amount of Lannister gold.

Episode 37 – “Mockingbird”

Cersei appoints the Mountain as her champion in the upcoming trial by combat, while both Jaime and Bronn refuse to fight for Tyrion. Oberyn steps up, seeking a chance to avenge Elia by killing the Mountain, who raped and killed her during the rebellion. Daenerys has sex with Daario before sending him off on a mission to deal with the resurgent slavers at Yunkai. Melisandre and Selyse prepare for their departure from Dragonstone, intending to take Shireen as well. Alliser Thorne rejects Jon’s offer to seal the tunnel. Brienne and Podrick meet Hot Pie and learn of Arya’s adventures. They then resolve to travel to the Vale, deducing she would go there in search of living relatives. In the Vale, Lysa is enraged when she witnesses Littlefinger kissing Sansa. Later, she threatens to push Sansa through the Moon Door, but Littlefinger intervenes and pushes Lysa to her death.

Thoughts:

  • This Oberyn/Mountain fight is going to be pretty solid.  Oberyn has to know his shit if he accepts to be Tyrion’s champion with such confidence.
  • Daario is the luckiest man in all Seven Kingdoms and beyond.  The dude banged Dany and is still a charming man who can fight his way out of anything.  Big 208976.max-620x600shoutout to you, man.  Real recognizes real.
  • What is good Hot Pie?? The man, the myth, the legend hasn’t changed a bit.  His fat ass is still as chatty as ever, just letting go that he knows Arya Stark.  Thank god it was Brienne that he told and not a threat.
  • RIP in peace to Aunt Lysa.  Littlefinger ended that power couple so fast.  She went out as annoying as she came in.  Now her son has to die soon right? No way will that pussy survive anything.

Episode 38 – “The Mountain and the Viper”

The wildlings attack Mole’s Town. Gilly is discovered by Ygritte, who spares her. Ramsay forces Theon to get the Ironborn to surrender Moat Cailin. The Ironborn surrender in hopes of returning home but are flayed and slaughtered by Ramsay. As a reward for securing Moat Cailin, Roose legitimizes Ramsay as a Bolton. In the Vale, Sansa reveals to a council investigating Lysa’s death her true identity and convinces the council of Littlefinger’s innocence. While Littlefinger starts grooming Robin Arryn, Lysa’s son, as the Lord of the Vale, the Hound and Arya arrive and are informed of Lysa’s death. In King’s Landing, the trial by combat starts. Oberyn gains the upper hand, but his desire to force the Mountain to confess his crimes gives the latter the chance to grab the former. He kills Oberyn by crushing his skull while confessing to the rape and murder of Elia. Tywin sentences Tyrion to death. In Essos, Barristan Selmy receives a letter intended for Jorah that pardons him as a reward for spying on Daenerys, who exiles him from Meereen as a result.

Thoughts:

  • Snaps for Ygritte for saving Gilly and the baby (snap snap).  Ygritte is a pretty damn good person for growing up around the other Wildlings.  Big fan of her.  Hopefully, she and Jon can somehow get back together and take on Westeros together.1
  • Ramsey just continues to grow and grow as a villain.  That is some good writing because he came into this thing as just a side piece that tortured.
  • This fight was sweet.  I’ve learned one major thing from this how when it comes to fighting, do NOT get cocky and talk.  Oberyn talked way too much and got his head popped like a grape because of it.
  • I actually liked Jorah, but the dude is a spy.  Dany has Barristan and her boo thang and has no more room to even give Jorah a little slack.   Hit the road loser.

Episode 39 – “The Watchers of the Wall”

The Night’s Watch prepares for the wildling invasion. Gilly and her son arrive at Castle Black, where Sam hides them in an underground room. The wildlings attack from both sides. Tormund’s army gets through from the south and engages the Night’s Watch. One giant manages to break through the tunnel leading into Castle Black but is killed by Grenn and five others, at the cost of their own lives. Alliser Thorne goes to fight in the southern part, leaving Janos Slynt in charge. However, Slynt proves to be incompetent and is tricked into going down the main level, effectively leaving Jon in charge. After watching Jon kill Styr, Ygritte prepares to kill him but is shot by Olly. Jon holds her in his arms as she dies. With the help of Jon’s direwolf, Ghost, the Night’s Watch secure the ground level of Castle Black, leading to Tormund’s arrest. The wall climbers are obliterated by a massive scythe launched by the Watch. The wildlings retreat but not for long, Jon predicts. Seeing no other choice, Jon goes beyond the Wall to find and kill Mance Rayder.

Thoughts:

  • This fight was the best battle scene yet.  Seeing the giants in action was sweet.  If we are being honest here, I watched this episode while working out on the bike and I was going maybe 115 MPH.  I was so amped up.  So much planning and executing went into the attack.
  • The reality: Ygritte is now dead and my favorite living couple is now toast.  (Ned and Cat hold the title of Favorite Dead Couple, thanks for asking.)

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Episode 40 – “The Children”

Jon’s negotiation with Mance Rayder is interrupted when Stannis and his army overrun the wildling camp, taking Mance as prisoner on the former’s suggestion. Bran’s party comes upon the large heart tree from his visions but is attacked by skeletal beasts, who kill Jojen; the others are saved by a child, who takes them to the three-eyed raven, revealed to be an old man. In the Vale, Brienne and Podrick come across Arya and the Hound, whom Brienne engages and critically wounds. He begs Arya to kill him, but she refuses and leaves with Brienne searching for her. She enters a ship headed to Braavos, intending to reunite with Jaqen H’ghar. Meanwhile, in King’s Landing, Cersei orders Qyburn to do anything to save the Mountain, who is poisoned by Oberyn’s blade. She gets involved with Jaime, who releases Tyrion. Tyrion later finds Shae in Tywin’s bed and strangles her to death. He then confronts Tywin in the privy and kills him, escaping the city with Varys. In Meereen, Daenerys is visited by a citizen who brings the charred remains of his daughter, who was burned by Drogon. As a precaution, Daenerys chains her two other dragons in the catacombs.

Thoughts:

  • Finally, this goddamn tree.  Bran’s story has been kind of toward the back of the pack for total excitement from all of the characters.  This tree and three-eyed raven better either give me a cool story to watch or give Bran some control over his Warg powers.
  • Arya is now her own woman.  She is traveling at the age of like 16 and I had to use a GPS to find a gas station when I was 16.  We may be at different points in our lives.
  • Tyrion killing that bitch Shae and his dad (while pooping) was awesome.  I’m glad he got away and killed his dad.  Tywin was going to take over the world.  He had the power, knowledge, army, money and was a complete asshole.
  • Finally, chaining up some dragons is a terrible idea.  They are going to hate you, and these dragons are her biggest advantage to take over some more empires.  Dumb ass decision from the Girl with 45 different names.  I get it Dany, you’ve been busy lately, but do you have to say every goddamn name every time you meet somebody who doesn’t know you? Jesus.

 

So that’s it.  4 Seasons in the books.

Every season is crazier than the last and 4 keeps the theme going.  I’m sure I will go through 5 pretty quickly so be ready for it.  Thank you for reading this, or even caring.

Winter. Is. Coming.

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