The Master’s Menu Will Make Both Your Mouth and Wallet Water

These prices honestly give me an erection. This is how sports’ concessions should be. These people pay thousands and thousands of dollars to be at this event, so why should they have to play $100 for concessions for four?

One of these days I will be be rich enough to attend the Masters and when I do, I am going to MAX on this menu. I will honestly drop $100 easily. $100 at Augusta can get you like 20 Pimento Cheese sandwiches (Which I’ve heard are the most refreshing things in the world), some sausage biscuits, chips and peanuts as far as the eye can see and then around 15 craft beers. That, alson with the greatest golf tournament known to man, is how I would want to die. If I finish everything that I buy and then watch Tiger win his 25th major championship, I can just fall down and die a happy man right there behind the ropes. If that happens people, just let me decompose into the grounds. Don’t move me, just let me be. I would want to be one with the course and fertilize it however I can.

Just me doing my part, being a great guy. Wow, I am humble.

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