Not going to even try and make this sound un-bias, but I am a Lebron James HATER. I always have. I always will be. I’m not saying he’s a bad guy. In-fact he is a great guy! He has a wonderful family with his high school sweetheart, he donates millions of dollars to charity and funds his hometown schools. Lebron is also very outspoken when it comes to social issues and uses his fame as a platform for social reform. Great dude.

So why am I a hater? It’s hard to explain. Why do I also hate J.J. Watt? (They are both great human beings… so maybe it says more about me then it does about them)

Background

I have to blame a majority of this hatred for Lebron James on Chris Broussard. If you remember, Broussard was the “Brian Windhorst” before Brian Windhorst on ESPN and trailed Lebron and his “Decision” in 2010 like a hawk. A couple minutes before the announcement, Broussard went on to say that it was a “pie in the sky” chance that Lebron ends up playing in Miami with Dwayne Wade. Sure enough, Lebron goes on National television and tells everyone he is leaving his home-town team for the Miami super-team. I am never upset with a player being a “title chaser”, but Lebron was such a dick about the whole thing. First came “The Decision”, then was the whole parade/introduction of Lebron/Wade/Bosh show that featured Lebron saying “not 3, not 4, not 5, not 6” rings reference that gave every Miami Heat Bandwagon fan a giant boner. The whole thing was a staged shit-show. And although I do not hate “title-chasers” there is something to be said for the best player in basketball, possibly the best player of all-time, having to leave his team to go win somewhere else. People can shit on Kevin Durant for doing it, and don’t get me wrong it was a pussy move, but Kevin Durant isn’t on Lebron James’s level. Kevin Durant is a HOF player, but he isn’t the goat. He isn’t the best all-around player in the league. He isn’t the best scorer in the league anymore. Kevin Durant is a top 25 player off all-time, but honestly, no one gives a shit. Lebron is competing to be one of the best players of all-time… there is a huge difference. Yes, other players have joined other teams to win championships. No, Lebron James/Kevin Durant weren’t the first players to join other teams in hopes of winning a championship. But Lebron James saying he is the GOAT, then moving to another team because he doesn’t believe he can win in Cleveland/recruit any players to come join him definitely says something. I am sure Jordan, Bird, and Magic would recruit players to come play for their team, but they never talked about coming to play with one another. Just didn’t happen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9BqUBYaHlM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTeCc8jy7FI

Media

Then came the build-up for Lebron’s first ring. When Lebron moved to Miami, he tried extra hard to make sure people knew he was the best player to ever exist. He would give the most stereo-typical “hero” answers to questions and would shoot down anyone who asked him about his poor performances in the 4th quarter.

(Video does it justice)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ho3_xNSHE6Q

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZCwb6Mf5aE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwYxDN4cUS4

Even last night, Lebron has to remind you that this block/game-winning shot he had was very similar to the one he had earlier this year against the fucking Timberwolves. Who gives a shit man! We get it… you are amazing. You are a gift from the basketball/hgh gods! But no one likes a guy who just constantly tells you about it… especially when we all already know. He tries so hard to create his legacy and it is so god damn over the top. Don’t forget the staged crying moment he had when he won the title for Cleveland. He must have practiced that for weeks in advance because he knew the cameras would surround him the minute that game ended. And sure enough, he tried his very best Michael Jordan impersonation and it still sucked. He doesn’t even like Cleveland, and I don’t blame him! Who the hell would like to play in Cleveland! It’s okay Lebron, your hometown sucks! No one is pissed at you for that. But don’t give me the fake emotional bullshit like you really care about bringing a title back to the people who burned your jerseys in the streets a couple years earlier. Just admit you were crying cause you wanted that ring all for yourself and how you truly want to shove it down the throats of every person who burned your jersey, and then things could start moving in the right direction.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJSYEeYtSw0

Cry Baby

God damn. Lebron James is clearly the best player on the court in every single game he plays in. With his size (with the help of HGH), he can drive to the basket and score whenever he chooses. Doesn’t matter if Dikembe Mutombo was hanging out under the hoop, Lebron can beat you with his size and speed any day. So why the hell does he have to complain about every single call? Every single god damn play Lebron gets touched, he is in the refs face giving him an earful about how a guy, that’s a whole foot shorter and nearly 100 pounds lighter than him, brushed his shoelace with his elbow as he was jumping over him for a dunk. Everyone complains in the NBA, I get it. But holy shit. I almost feel bad for the refs having to deal with this non-sense every single game.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-7FGr8THc8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thMLrls8M0A

Clutch Gene

Add this most recent buzzer-beater to the vault of meaningless Lebron James plays. I’m sure the collection of regular season/first round buzzer beaters will be the only highlights on his hall-of-fame induction video. Society is just dying to add to this guy’s legacy- making meaningless plays seem so amazing because he hasn’t made enough career defining plays when it matters. No one should actually believe that a block on Andre Iguodala solidifies Lebron James as a clutch/4th quarter player. Kyrie draining the game-winning three over the reigning MVP from that year is just thrown under the bus because people are just itching to make any average Lebron moment out to be the greatest thing of all-time. His playoff stats are phenomenal. Lebron only seems to get better in the playoffs every year, but he still lacks the defining moments that make the great players great! Tiger Woods won the 2008 U.S. Open on a broken leg. The man literally oozes career defining moments. Tom Brady led the 14-point underdog Patriots on a masterful game winning drive in the final minutes of his first ever Super Bowl against the Rams in 2002. Since then, Brady has had numerous moments in big games that have further defined his resume as the great QB of all-time. Michael Jordan is Michael Jordan. His scoring was always elite in quarters 1-4 of the playoffs/finals and has several career defining moments that clearly make him the best scoring guard of all-time. What does Lebron have? A first-round game-winner against the Indiana Pacers? A buzzer beater against the Bulls in the Eastern Conference Semi-Finals? The cramp game against the Oklahoma City Thunder? A BLOCK against Andre Iguodala in the finals really does it for you people? Come on.

If Lebron can somehow lead this shitty team to an NBA finals and provide that clutch/4th quarter moment, I will shut up forever. I’ll buy his jersey. I’ll say he is the greatest NBA player of all-time. I’ll buy more Sprite just to support his marketing campaigns. Whatever you want. Until then… go any other team in the Eastern Conference.

Bonus (Must watch)

If you have made it this far, I appreciate you. But don’t you forget about the Lebron James ball-boy incident either. This poor kid was probably so excited to be around his idol, only to have him throw his laundry to the ground like the kid was a peasant. He literally stuck his hand out to grab his warm up, made eye contact with Lebron James, and Lebron still threw his shirt to the ground. I thought that maybe it was just a mistake the first time I saw it, but nope… he continues to throw every bit of clothing to the ground just to make that kid clean up his shit. They looked right at each other! It’s not like Lebron doesn’t know what this kids job is.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=APObxATFsrQ

Not cool, Lebron. Not cool.