The Cubs Win 9 of 11 To Finish the Month and Woah, There In First Place

Sports

Remember like two weeks ago when everyone was freaking out? The Cubs fell to 7-8, mother nature didn’t seem like she wanted the sport of baseball to be played and the some offseason moves looked like they could be huge mistakes.

But as the weather heats up, so do your Chicago Cubs. Holy shit are these guys hot. Since their last weather delay on April 18, the boys are 9-2 and don’t look now… but the North Siders are in sole first place of the Central. But how did we get here you ask? Pitching. The answer is pitching.

The starting rotation is unconscious right now. In their sweep of the joke of a team called “The Brewers”, the Cubs only scored 10 runs in four games. They were literally and figuratively on the back of their starting pitching. Just look at this Cubs porn:

That makes me as nervous as High School Colton talking to any girl with a pulse. Those are video game numbers, folks. And not even from our #1 guy. I’ve been saying since the offseason that the fact that Yu and Q are our 3 and 4 is unfair to the league and the rest of humankind.

As you can see, the bullpen has been lights out as well. Theo put together quite the goddamn pitching staff and holy shit does it have me excited. Not only has Brandon Morrow not blown a save as a Cub, but he hasn’t even given up a single run. Morrow. Edwards. Cishek. Duensing. These guys are getting it done and I know its clearly not too early to say this, but they are starting to look like the kind of bullpen that can go deep into October.

So to wrap this up, lets just talk about how bad Anthony Rizzo is playing.

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After an Opening Day home run, Rizzo is on an all time drought. Some fans may start to look at the panic button on Rizzo but not I. Nuh-uh. Rizz will figure it out, get hot and end up batting .270 with 30 HR and 100 RBIs by the end of the season. If the Cubs can get into first place, ahead of hot starts from the Cards, Brewers and Pirates, all while Jason Hayward is more of an offensive threat than Anthony has been, then just wait until he gets hot… Oh baby…

PS: The Brewers stink. Nobody has been less of a threat in the history of sports. We have them in our back pocket.

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