You Had To Go With That One?

Comedy Lifestyle

I would consider myself a pretty decent driver… I make complete stops at stop signs, always use my blinker, and I only Tweet when I’ve got a real good one cookin’ and I don’t want to forget. I’ve gotten a couple of warnings and I’ve been in one (not my fault) accident. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned about the ways of the road it’s that there’s a special place in hell for people who drive the same cars used for police vehicles.

Actually, this is a circumstantial statement… If you’re given a Crown Victorian or Chevy Impala for your first car, or it’s all you could afford, I respect the grind ✊🏼 . But if you wake up in the morning, brush your teeth, eat breakfast, take a half day of work to go to a dealership with the intent of purchasing a white Ford Explorer, get the fuck out of town. What kind of psychopath are you?

What joy does one get by fooling others into thinking you can pull them over at any second? A real sick individual, I’ll tell you what! Numerous times a car that looks like a law enforcer has pulled up behind me, but it always turns out to be a woman talking on her phone, or a middle aged man in a wife beater smoking a cigarette.

There has to be a billion different kinds of cars you can pick. If you subtract the % of cars for the people who drive on the opposite side of the road and smart cars, that still leaves a shit ton of cars you can choose from. There is nothing you can gain from having that specific kind of car, except to look like a wannabe cop and strike the fear of God into civilian drivers.

It’s safe to say that nobody likes driving when there are cops around. I appreciate the hell out of their services and for protecting us, but they scare the piss out of me on the road. I could be driving under the speed limit, behind a semi, as a school bus driver, and I would still slam on my breaks if I saw a cop sitting on the side of the road. It’s wild that red, white, and blue are the colors of freedom, unless they’re flashing in your rear view mirror.

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