Now That’s My Type of Game

Being dudes, we all have some sort of background with video games. Whether it’s throwing it way back to the Nintendo/Smash Bros days or to last weekend when you got stoned and played FIFA.

If you never played video games or don’t enjoy dabbling in them every so often, you might’ve been born the wrong gender. No offense intended but I can’t fathom a mans life without video games. I can’t count on four hands the many nights of staying up until sunrise on Xbox live playing zombies with my buddies.

Girls were given barbies, boys were given sports; and what’s better than playing sports for real? Playing them through a TV screen. Oh you liked playing cops and robbers, or pretending to be a soldier? Don’t you worry, there’s games for that too. Kids nowadays are given iPads to play whatever games their intelligence level can search for, but don’t worry. Give it some time and they’ll of had their fair share of 2K, COD, and GTA like the rest of us.

Shoot em up games are already intense enough, but I think EA Sports needs to come up with a more mature version of their games; 2K 2.0, if you will. “Be A Pro” is cool and all but if they say be a pro, why can’t you really be a pro? I played the “Live the Life” feature on NHL and all I could do was answer press conference questions. That’s not living the life, that’s playing the game and thinking. Actually getting a behind the scenes look at the sport you’re playing gives in the 2.0 feel.

You’re playing Madden and down 3 TD’s in the first half, you have a live look in the locker room and hear a motivation speech from an angel, or a shit storm of ass chewing. Throw up a 77 in the 2nd round of the Masters, you’re on the putting green till dark and get to go home and bang your model status wife; golfers always seem to snag the dime pieces. You’re popping champagne in the locker room after winning the Stanley Cup, and settin’ fire to the city.

You get the point, it’s a friendly mix of EA Sports and GTA (without the violence, or with the violence if you so choose – End up doing coke, landing yourself in jail, and waking up to plastered all over the social world as the new Johnny Manziel.) I think it would be a fantastic game, and I have no ambition to do anything about it so if someone steals this idea… make sure I get the first copy.

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Why Choose Cats When God Created Dogs?

If you had the option to pick between having a cat or a dog and you land on a cat, I’m not mad just severely disappointed.. Seriously, why would you want a fragile, four legged creature that lies around all day, hisses, and will make you sneeze; as opposed, to friendly, lovable, AFFECTIONATE animal, that’ll lick your face whiiiiile you still sneeze… (Not all of us can be blessed without allergies 😑)

They’re like little robots you can train and teach them to do really cool things:

“Sit good boy, you get a treat.”

“Lay down, good boy!”

“Roll over, oh good boy who wants belly rubs!?”

You see those videos where a dude wearing nice red flannel and some Wrangler jeans says, “Alright Tucker go on n’ grab me a beer” and Tucker, the golden retriever will run to the fridge, yank the towel from the handle and grab the ice cold Budweiser, because America.

I’ll bring a tennis ball, racquet, and my doggo to the tennis court near my house and she’ll set the ball on the racquet so I don’t need to pry a slobber ridden ball from her jaws of steel. She’ll run herself ragged until she decides to walk her tired self home, no regard to waiting for the hand that feeds her, or stopping for traffic… “Screw automobiles, those cars are stopping for me *woof*” Nah bish, they will run your ass over.

I can go up to any dog and be totally fearless that it’ll sniff my hand and then proceed to let me scratch the shit out of their heads. Cats, not so much; there’s always a fear that they’ll see red and claw or bite my hand. Dogs are hands down nicer than cats, and that’s why they’re called “mans best friend”. I once watched a child have a breakdown in the middle of a kitchen floor and this dog came up and started licking her face and boom, no tears. It was like a Christmas miracle.

Cats are cool, if you like little felines who occasionally will puur in your ear and rub against your legs. Now if you want a friend for life, who will disregard all personal space boundaries, and love you unconditionally… dogs are the way to go.

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