No, You Do Not Like ALL Music

Talking to people is easy. All you gotta do is start asking questions and the conversation flows like the Nile River. Hey, how ya doin? Where ya from? How old are you? Where’d you go to school? Where ya work? Boom, just started a 3 minute conversation, keep it going.

One of the questions I like asking is what kind of music someone likes… Pretty easy question, just tell me what you listen to on a regular basis. Don’t let, “Oh, I like all music” come outcha mouth because you’re lying. I personally can’t begin to imagine how much music is out in the world. There are dudes wearing loincloths in the middle of Africa banging on drums, that’s music. Bagpipes in Ireland. Chief Keef… It’s impossible to say you like all music.

If I were to ask you to listen to a song I’m sure you would oblige, so it’s fair to say that you would LISTEN to all music; doesn’t mean you like it. I’ve narrowed it down to I will listen to any music… except classical. Not going to find me listening to Mozart in this lifetime. It’s easier to answer the question in Pandora stations, because it covers such a ride range of songs, you can pick up the vibe of their music taste. Blink-182, you obviously dig the 90’s; Beyoncé you like pop/todays hits; Backstreet Boys you like, well boys..

If I could pick 4 stations to listen to for the rest of my life they’d be Goo Goo Dolls, Wiz Khalifa, Lil Dicky, & Ed Sheeran; my number 5 would be a Barstool station, it’ll happen. Luckily, I’m living the Spotify life and can listen to whatever music I want when I so please. I have a very broad music selection, and I just throw it into a playlist so I’ve got like 300 songs all over the spectrum

Drink it in, a little taste of my music selection. I’d like to draw your eye to the middle three songs. Te Ves Fatal, according to an RBI cook, is just a song talking mad shit about a girl but the tune is so catchy I listen to it at least twice a day. And I would like to thank Barstool for introducing us.

Everybody loves a little Fleetwood Mac and if you haven’t heard the most beautiful thing ever, prepare to cry. And of course Migos, making bangers for the last couple years. I’m all over the damn map and the selection continues to expand daily.

You better come up with a good answer if I ever ask you what music you like or you and I are going to sit and listen to Russian show-tunes until the cows come home.

December Golf In Illinois…. Whaaaaat?

December 2, 2017, marks a special day in my life. In 11 years of playing recreational/competitive golf, that monumental day was the first December round of golf I have ever played. It probably doesn’t seem like an exciting situation to you Average Joe’s, but any one who has hit the sweet spot of a 7 iron knows how important that last round of the year is.

What makes it more sweet is that it was my first round in a solid 4 months; I’m surprised I was still able to make contact with the ball. Sure maybe I lost a handful of balls and my dignity (threw up the Hawaiian 9-0), but there were some darts thrown that give me hope I’ve still got it buried under a couple layers of rust.

The course was Atwood and I’ve always had a soft spot for this course since firing a 79 and winning the boys 14-15 y/o area tournament 💪🏼 Honestly, all I had to hear was golf and I was in, didn’t matter where we played.

Our foursome’s average age was damn near 35 years lower than any of the other groups out there, I wasn’t mad about it; those olds dudes are piping it down the middle every time. Sure they aren’t winning any long drive contests but fairway fairway putt putt is not a bad way to play.

I thought that the greens keepers weren’t trying to have these hacks come chop up their fairways and greens, but you’d think with their pin locations that’s exactly what they wanted to accomplish. I thought I was going for a leisurely last round before putting the sticks in the attic, not reading a putt from four different angels on Masters Sunday. 18/18 pin locations were on the middle of a ridge; hit it past, bye bye ball; leave it short, have with a 4 foot sweeping left to right putt, jackass.

I’ve accepted that I peaked in the sport of golf back in my competitive days. Playing for Rock Valley CC I was playing golf 6 out of the 7 days of the week, it would be impossible for me to continue sucking. Yeah there were a fair share of low rounds and more than I’m proud to admit not so low rounds, but never will I play to that competitive level.

I could of lost all my golf balls, broken my driver, and forgot my putter before the round and I would still want to go out and play. I’ve got the itch and playing Rory McIlroy 2016 on Xbox isn’t cutting it; might be making a spontaneous trip to Florida, I’m pretty sure that’s the only logical solution… maybe.

Now That’s My Type of Game

Being dudes, we all have some sort of background with video games. Whether it’s throwing it way back to the Nintendo/Smash Bros days or to last weekend when you got stoned and played FIFA.

If you never played video games or don’t enjoy dabbling in them every so often, you might’ve been born the wrong gender. No offense intended but I can’t fathom a mans life without video games. I can’t count on four hands the many nights of staying up until sunrise on Xbox live playing zombies with my buddies.

Girls were given barbies, boys were given sports; and what’s better than playing sports for real? Playing them through a TV screen. Oh you liked playing cops and robbers, or pretending to be a soldier? Don’t you worry, there’s games for that too. Kids nowadays are given iPads to play whatever games their intelligence level can search for, but don’t worry. Give it some time and they’ll of had their fair share of 2K, COD, and GTA like the rest of us.

Shoot em up games are already intense enough, but I think EA Sports needs to come up with a more mature version of their games; 2K 2.0, if you will. “Be A Pro” is cool and all but if they say be a pro, why can’t you really be a pro? I played the “Live the Life” feature on NHL and all I could do was answer press conference questions. That’s not living the life, that’s playing the game and thinking. Actually getting a behind the scenes look at the sport you’re playing gives in the 2.0 feel.

You’re playing Madden and down 3 TD’s in the first half, you have a live look in the locker room and hear a motivation speech from an angel, or a shit storm of ass chewing. Throw up a 77 in the 2nd round of the Masters, you’re on the putting green till dark and get to go home and bang your model status wife; golfers always seem to snag the dime pieces. You’re popping champagne in the locker room after winning the Stanley Cup, and settin’ fire to the city.

You get the point, it’s a friendly mix of EA Sports and GTA (without the violence, or with the violence if you so choose – End up doing coke, landing yourself in jail, and waking up to plastered all over the social world as the new Johnny Manziel.) I think it would be a fantastic game, and I have no ambition to do anything about it so if someone steals this idea… make sure I get the first copy.

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Why Choose Cats When God Created Dogs?

If you had the option to pick between having a cat or a dog and you land on a cat, I’m not mad just severely disappointed.. Seriously, why would you want a fragile, four legged creature that lies around all day, hisses, and will make you sneeze; as opposed, to friendly, lovable, AFFECTIONATE animal, that’ll lick your face whiiiiile you still sneeze… (Not all of us can be blessed without allergies 😑)

They’re like little robots you can train and teach them to do really cool things:

“Sit good boy, you get a treat.”

“Lay down, good boy!”

“Roll over, oh good boy who wants belly rubs!?”

You see those videos where a dude wearing nice red flannel and some Wrangler jeans says, “Alright Tucker go on n’ grab me a beer” and Tucker, the golden retriever will run to the fridge, yank the towel from the handle and grab the ice cold Budweiser, because America.

I’ll bring a tennis ball, racquet, and my doggo to the tennis court near my house and she’ll set the ball on the racquet so I don’t need to pry a slobber ridden ball from her jaws of steel. She’ll run herself ragged until she decides to walk her tired self home, no regard to waiting for the hand that feeds her, or stopping for traffic… “Screw automobiles, those cars are stopping for me *woof*” Nah bish, they will run your ass over.

I can go up to any dog and be totally fearless that it’ll sniff my hand and then proceed to let me scratch the shit out of their heads. Cats, not so much; there’s always a fear that they’ll see red and claw or bite my hand. Dogs are hands down nicer than cats, and that’s why they’re called “mans best friend”. I once watched a child have a breakdown in the middle of a kitchen floor and this dog came up and started licking her face and boom, no tears. It was like a Christmas miracle.

Cats are cool, if you like little felines who occasionally will puur in your ear and rub against your legs. Now if you want a friend for life, who will disregard all personal space boundaries, and love you unconditionally… dogs are the way to go.

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