Smokes of The Office

The Office.

Everyone loves it.

Easily one of the top 5 comedy shows out there and rightfully so. I’m on my second run through of indulging and I have some friends that are easily on their 5th of 6th lap of rewatching this magnificent series. Trying to decipher which scenes were scripted and which were completely impromptu gives me all of the entertainment I need. Also, going back and watching the other actors try to keep a serious face is priceless. It’s just like Vegas, no matter how many times you go back, there’s always something new to look at.

There’s a lot of talent in this cast, and I’m not referring to ability to act. Well, maybe, everyone does a fantastic job and the show wouldn’t be what it is without the presence of every single one of them <3

but really, lot of beauts in this show and you’ll get a different answer from everyone you ask but try this sequence of most attractive characters on for size:

5. Erin Hannon

Sweet and genuine soul, with a pretty face – and that is all she wrote on this one… Her squeaky voice, super teethy smile, and past relations with Gabe are definite deal breakers. Not good Erin, minus 5.

4. Angela Martin

Not my most popular opinion but Angela’s got it going on, starting at like season 3. It could be my overlap of her character in New Girl but Dwight flipped a switch on this fox.

3. Jan Levinson

Jan freaking Levinson-Gould, you majestic goddess! The only reason you are not my number 1 is because of, in your exact words, your ability to be self destructive. We’d never make it.

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.

.

But on the real, she could handcuff me.

2. Karen Filippelli

Karen, you’re a babe and you’ve already conquered my heart as Ann Perkins. Give someone else a chance, please.

1. Pam Beesly

LOOK AT HOW BEAUTIFUL SHE IS! Seriously, if Pam falls anywhere but number one on your list you need to seek medical attention for blindness. All around wifey material and is everything I could want in a woman. You can take this as my written proposal, I’ll be waiting patiently for your answer.

If my girl purse lady Katy stayed in the show a little longer and wasn’t just a treat for Jim to snack on, I can confidently say that she’d be in my top 5 (sorry not sorry, Erin).

As for the more frequent appearances, who knows what Meredith looked like in her younger days, I wouldn’t count her out completely. Kelly, Phyllis, Holly, and Nellie… Not a chance.

Despite Dull Tournament, Fox Makes Strides in US Open Coverage

If you spent your weekend trying to bond and relate to a dad that didn’t hug you enough when you were young, you probably also wound up planted in front of the TV watching Brooks Koepka’s biceps win the U.S. Open. It was a tournament packed full of players you’ve never heard of dominating a golf course that had no business hosting a major tournament. FOX paid a ridiculous sum of money to broadcast a tournament where Rory Mcilroy, Dustin Johnson, and Jason Day didn’t make the cut, and golf’s golden pony Jordan Speith was the tied for 35th. They tried their best to sell you on Brain Harman, Tommy Fleetwood, and Hideki Matsuyama being the next big things, but all know we will never care about any of those people ever. Luckily, the good folks at FOX did a few things to make the tournament bearable.

First, they brought back my guy Joe Buck to call the action. After a tumultuous US Open debut in 2015, many fans were calling for a replacement for the broadcaster who once almost lost his voice from excessive hair plug surgeries. Now, Is he great at calling golf? Not really. But nothing draws attention to sporting events that don’t deserve it like bringing in Buck to take a beating on Twitter. Joe had maybe the highlight of the weekend: calling Brooks Koepka’s current girlfriend by his ex’s name and credentials, exposing Brooks for rebounding so hard that he brought his girlfriend of one week to undoubtedly the biggest moment of his life.

Second, they fully unleashed the Shot Tracker. It’s wonderful technology that’s existed forever, but for some reason no network has felt the need to utilize the one thing that makes golf palatable to the casual viewer. Besides your local golf pro, or that loser amateur that plays 3 times a weekend and can’t stop talking about spin rate and launch angle, no one can tell where the ball is going just based on watching the swing. The rest of us, who aren’t nerds for a dying game, are relying solely on body language and gallery reaction. If i don’t see a club twirl, or hear some jackalope yell “ATTA BOY *insert name here*”, I automatically assume the ball is headed for the nearest patch of fescue. With the Shot Tracker, we all get to say “he pushed it” or “it’s gotta turn over” 2 seconds after the ball is hit. I don’t know how many letters I have to write to those old, quasi-racist white guys at Augusta National to get the Shot Tracker allowed at The Masters, all I know is 5 is not enough.

Lastly, they were constantly doing studio updates just to show off the impossible-looking Holly Sonders. The fact that she’s legitimately good at her job takes a backseat to the fact that she looks like she was carefully constructed in a laboratory. I feel comfortable speculating that FOX did exhaustive research on when exactly golf viewers will change the channel, and scheduled a studio hit for those exact times. It worked tremendously.

So no, the US Open was not great golf. But, a tip of the cap to FOX for letting Americans celebrate our National Tournament by doing some of our favorite things: hating Joe Buck, acting like an expert, and creepily staring at beautiful women.

P.S. Thanks to Colton and the rest of the BUQB crew for letting me come aboard and contribute. This is going to be a lot of fun.

Former FBI director tried to use White House curtains as camouflage and the story is fantastic.

We are living in a weird House of Cards parody and it is more absurd than you might think. I want you to really stop and analyze what I’m about to say…

The director of the FBI tried to hide from the President of the United States of America via color-blending with the White House drapes.

comey

I’m not making this up. This actually happened.

In a ridiculously comical attempt to avoid having to interact with Donald Trump, [then] director of the FBI James Comey wore a blue and white suit in an attempt to blend in with the curtains of the White House. This human chameleon experiment happened at a White House event shortly after Trump’s inauguration. Director Comey, uncomfortable with the President’s attempts to ‘shmooze’ him (the man tasked with investigating Trumps ties to Russia), did not want to go to the event but felt it would be inappropriate for him not to attend. But you don’t rise to become director of the FBI without being the man with a plan.

James Comey decided a color-blending scheme was his best chance at victory. He would wear a blue and white suit to match the drapes of the oval office. This is where he would make his valiant stand; glued to the curtains on the perimeter of the room, as far away from the President as possible.

Unfortunately for Comey, he is a giant. The man is 6’8”. He was eventually spotted and singled out by the Commander in Chief, at which point James Comey had two options:

• Jump out of the White House window and make a sprint for freedom.
• Shake the President’s hand.

Sadly, he chose option number two, but not all of his planning had been in vein. Since he had positioned himself as far away from Trump as possible this meant he had to make a painfully long journey across the office to reach the President. This gave Comey a brief moment to collect himself and prepare for the encounter. He had a new plan. He would now use his tall and lanky posture to his advantage. He awkwardly avoids a dumb joke from the president and is within striking range. He uses his arm length to reach out first and establish that the encounter will be nothing more than a quick handshake.

Suddenly, TROUBLE.

His worst fears are confirmed when Trump uses his strange alpha male handshake tactic to force the director into an unwanted one-armed hug. Comey resists while trying to not cause an awkward scene. It’s bad enough that he will be seen being friendly and shaking hands with the man he is investigating. He’ll be damned if he’s going to be seen hugging that man as well!

“It was bad enough there was going to be a handshake. And Comey has long arms so Comey said he pre-emptively reached out for a handshake and grabbed the president’s hand. But Trump pulled him into an embrace and Comey didn’t reciprocate. If you look at the video, it’s one person shaking hands and another hugging.” – Benjamin Wittes recalling his conversations with former director Comey.

Comey, disgusted by the entire interaction, quickly walks away. He lives to fight another day.

So what’s better than knowing the director of the FBI tried to use urban camouflage in conjunction with the White House drapes to avoid a handshake with the President? Watching it happen in all its awkward glory. THAT’S RIGHT. THE ENTIRE THING WAS FILMED.

So take the amazing context of this situation and watch it all unfold before your eyes.

VIDEO: Comey’s awkward handshake

The specifc insight into exactly what was going through Comey’s head comes from Benjamin Wittes, friend of Comey’s who talked with PBS about their personal conversations. I highly recommend watching the entire interview although the link provided should start playing at the relevant part to this post.

VIDEO: Wittes interview on PBS

Furthermore, If you would like to see the next chapter of the Trump vs Comey saga, be sure to tune into the Senate Intelligence hearing where Comey plans to testify, under oath, about his interactions with the President. We truly are living in a strange time of poltical history. This juicy showdown hasn’t been set with an exact date yet but is expected to happen sometime shortly after memorial day weekend!

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