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Sergeant Buzzkill Reporting For Duty

So I’m extremely confident that I just stumbled upon one of the worst videos to ever be posted on social media… Watching it easily ranks in the top 5 most terrible experiences to happen in my life, amongst getting lost at Six Flags and having the cops called on me after I went through my neighbor’s garage to get my basketball that flew into their backyard.

I know it’s a bold accusation but I wholeheartedly believe it’s warranted. After finally getting through the whole video (because it took me a couple of tries to get myself to finish (that’s what she said)) I sat on my bed in disbelief, absolutely shook at what I had just witnessed.

“How could the internet betray me like this?” I muttered.

I was just casually scrolling through the Gram and I came across one of those blurred videos that said: “Sensitive Content”… I was thinking it could’ve been someone snapping their leg snowboarding, maybe a shark biting someone’s finger off, a penis… Idk, I would’ve taken any of those options if I knew what I was instead clicking on.

I wouldn’t have posted it if I didn’t want you to see for yourself but just know that it changes you as a person. (I recommend sound off)

 

Viewer Discretion Is Definitely Advised

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I’m always a praying and forgiving person and in this instance all I can do is pray for these people and have faith that one day we can all coexist but damn man This one hurt man 😢😖🥺 I can’t believe what i just watched ! I’m so sick of seeing these videos and people just getting a slap on the wrist ,bullshit fines ,and minimal sentencing! The laws need to change on the way animals are treated not just in America but around the world 🌎 I was on the fence of posting this video but I wouldn’t be who I am if I didn’t spread the message weather it’s good or bad ! I VOWED TO BE THE VOICE FOR THE VOICELESS….shut up for one second and listen to our friends “mans best friend” in this video! And let me know what you think below …. Sorry for the graphic nature 🤬 please share to help end the way animals are treated ! @karmagawa #dogs #dog #news #nbc #cnn #trump #kimkardashian #arianagrande #pitbull #animal

A post shared by Animal Guy From Instagram (@therealtarzann) on

If you aren’t extremely mad/sad/terrified/scarred/sobbing/etc, after seeing a portion of this video you might be clinically heartless. I hope I wasn’t underselling it prior but if you think I was, I’m not sorry that I have feelings and love dogs. Sue me.

I partially blame myself for not checking to see who posted the video before but this guy usually posts the most entertaining animal videos, like he’ll be swimming with tigers and chillin’ with monkeys and shit! Sure in the past he may have posted a similar “Sensitive Content” video of people poaching rhinos, but THEY WEREN’T THROWING DOGS IN A BOILING POT OF WATER OR LIGHTING THEM ON FIRE.

What purpose did that serve to post that, what mission was accomplished?! “I VOWED TO BE THE VOICE FOR THE VOICELESS!” What are we going to do, go to Asia and start a revolution? Sure, let’s caravan together and go stop a country of people from eating what they have been for the last probably ever. Maybe someone will start a GoFundMe page, or send over a boatload of chickens with a guy in a dog costume holding a Chick-fil-A “Eat Mor Chikin” sign. Idk, it’s just a thought – we’ll see what happens.

It’s like those people who would stand off Perryville near the mall with all those pictures of unborn babies in protest against abortions, exposing the ugly truths of fucked up situations isn’t going to do anything but kill whatever buzz someone has going for them.

I do apologize for probably ruining your night but I needed to release all of these emotions, and I exceeded my max characters for a tweet.

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10/07/2018

Well, here we are. One month removed from Mac Miller’s existence.

The news of his death came out of right field and had social media, and even the day-to-day media, in a frenzy. I was informed by a 7 minute old TMZ post on Instagram stating Mac Miller was found dead and immediately sent it to my buddy Kevin wondering what kind of sick joke was happening.

Everyone was pretty shook about his passing. Several artists sent their condolences, including Chance who made several Tweets, Logic shared mad praises on YSIV, Karl Anthony Towns had some custom sneaks made to commemorate him, and I’ve seen a decent amount of Pennsylvania sports team pay their respects.

And Pitt with the dopest hype video I’ve ever laid eyes on

I still can’t believe this whole thing happened, there was a fluke in the universe or God had a hiccup because Malcom McCormick was not supposed to die. He was engulfed in positive energy and was stoked for the start of The Swimming Tour, title of the album he released in early August.

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Tweeted a day before his death, a freaking day… Fuck, could’ve been a couple hours if they found him in the morning. Shit’s insane.

Mac is hands down my favorite rap artist but I never saw him live because I’m not much of a concert goer. If you add a couple of Summerfest visits, an REO Speedwagon/Styx concert when I was 12, and a lonesome T.I./Ludacris concert my freshman year of high school, you’ll find that my concert going experience is “pathetic.” I couldn’t agree more now let me live my life. I think I played a burned CD of KIDS in my car for 9 months straight, I love(d) that mixtape and I love(d) all the music he released during his time on Earth.

{Insert a sweet article about Mac and the direction he was on}

For the last month, there hasn’t been a day that I haven’t listened to his music. The phrase you don’t know what you have until it’s gone hasn’t been more true. Knowing that I won’t be able to listen to a new Mac Miller song makes me real life sad. I usually listen to music for the rhythm and beat of the song, as opposed to listening to the lyrics. I’ve listened to nothing but his lyrics and some of them make me think hard about how precious life is.

Fuck ‘Em AllMacadellic

“Get ya money, fuck ’em all. Everything could be gone tomorrow. What if it’s gone tomorrow?”

100 GrandkidsGO:OD AM

“I made a promise to my mama that I’ll bless her with some grandkids, she can spoil them.”

Senior Skip DayKIDS

“Haha, enjoy the best things in your life cause you ain’t gonna get to live it twice.”

Jet FuelSwimming

“Now I’m in the clouds, come down when I run out of jet fuel, but I never run out of jet fuel.”

Good EveningKIDS

“Takin’ over piece by piece, startin’ from the core. It’s only been a year I can stick around a hundred more.”

Brand NameGO:OD AM

“To everyone who sell me drugs don’t mix it with that bullshit. I’m hoping not to join the twenty seven club.”

One Last Thing Blue Slide Park

“Somebody changin’ the world, it only takes one. Never scared of death, but I ain’t ready for that day to come.”

Perfect Circle / God SpeedGO:OD AM

“Everybody saying I need rehab cause I’m speedin’ with a blindfold on and won’t be long until they watching me crash and they don’t wanna see that. They don’t want me to OD and have to talk to my mother. Tell her they could have done more to help me and she’d be crying that she’d do anything to have me back.”

One of the hardest deaths I’ve endured thus far and I never even met the guy, life is gonna be real fun when someone I’m close with passes. Mac, from the looks of it, you were a positive influence on everyone you met and you’re going to be truly missed and remembered. Rest easy, friend.

Smokes of The Office

The Office.

Everyone loves it.

Easily one of the top 5 comedy shows out there and rightfully so. I’m on my second run through of indulging and I have some friends that are easily on their 5th of 6th lap of rewatching this magnificent series. Trying to decipher which scenes were scripted and which were completely impromptu gives me all of the entertainment I need. Also, going back and watching the other actors try to keep a serious face is priceless. It’s just like Vegas, no matter how many times you go back, there’s always something new to look at.

There’s a lot of talent in this cast, and I’m not referring to ability to act. Well, maybe, everyone does a fantastic job and the show wouldn’t be what it is without the presence of every single one of them <3

but really, lot of beauts in this show and you’ll get a different answer from everyone you ask but try this sequence of most attractive characters on for size:

5. Erin Hannon

Sweet and genuine soul, with a pretty face – and that is all she wrote on this one… Her squeaky voice, super teethy smile, and past relations with Gabe are definite deal breakers. Not good Erin, minus 5.

4. Angela Martin

Not my most popular opinion but Angela’s got it going on, starting at like season 3. It could be my overlap of her character in New Girl but Dwight flipped a switch on this fox.

3. Jan Levinson

Jan freaking Levinson-Gould, you majestic goddess! The only reason you are not my number 1 is because of, in your exact words, your ability to be self destructive. We’d never make it.

.

.

.

But on the real, she could handcuff me.

2. Karen Filippelli

Karen, you’re a babe and you’ve already conquered my heart as Ann Perkins. Give someone else a chance, please.

1. Pam Beesly

LOOK AT HOW BEAUTIFUL SHE IS! Seriously, if Pam falls anywhere but number one on your list you need to seek medical attention for blindness. All around wifey material and is everything I could want in a woman. You can take this as my written proposal, I’ll be waiting patiently for your answer.

If my girl purse lady Katy stayed in the show a little longer and wasn’t just a treat for Jim to snack on, I can confidently say that she’d be in my top 5 (sorry not sorry, Erin).

As for the more frequent appearances, who knows what Meredith looked like in her younger days, I wouldn’t count her out completely. Kelly, Phyllis, Holly, and Nellie… Not a chance.

You All Over The Place Quez Baby

There’s nothing cooler to me than seeing someone who is out in the world doing something they’re passionate about. Whether it’s some lucky SOB who gets to play their favorite sport, musicians, or even someone who genuinely likes their full time job.

One of my friends landed a job at Honda Kawasaki working with motorcycle and dirt bike operations – not much of a motorcycle fanatic but this guy fucking loves motocross. He watched Disney’s OG, Motocrossed one time and was sold instantly; now I couldn’t be more ecstatic that he’s telling me he wakes up happy to go to work.

Nurses and teachers seem to love their jobs too. It has to be a rewarding feeling taking care of society’s medical needs, and molding the minds of youths. Getting summer vacation as an adult has to be a major selling point for teaching.

I’d say the hardest thing for me to adjust to, ya know being an adult and all, is not having a summer vacation. My sister got done last week and I’m thinking, “Great, you get three months of carefree-ness ahead of you while I’m sitting in an office when it’s 83 and there’s not a cloud in the sky.” We’ll eventually end up having the same amount of summer vacations so I can’t complain too much. What I’m getting at is

Scrolling through Instagram is always fun because people post shit about EVERYTHING. I dig pictures of puppies, new born babies are adorable, and seeing engagements are heart warming, but selfies and progress pictures are the absolute worst. Yeah, you’ve achieved summer 2K18 body status but it better not come with a mile long caption of how hard it is to stay motivated but hard work and perseverance will prevail. Duh, it’s exercising nobody wants to do it. You’re putting in work to stop your body from doing what it’s genetically designed to do.

One Instagram account I thoroughly enjoy seeing is my buddy from high school, Marquez {Quez} Beeks. Our lockers were hella close to each other all four years and I remember seeing him and then hearing him yell “YOU BETTER GET TO HOMEROOM MR BLAHUNKA!” Oh the good ol’ days, how we used to laugh.

Quez has been all over the map since graduation, six years ago. Not literally traveling the map but movin’ and groovin’ to his own beat. He started off playing some JUCO football at College of Dupage and then a couple more years at Fayetteville State. During his time away in North Carolina, he came up with a non-profit organization to help give back. Now, I recently saw a post that I should go listen to his newly released hit single on Spotify.

I slid in his DM’s and asked if I could hear his story on where he started and how he got to where he’s at now. I think it’s important for kids in high school, nearing the college mark of life, to be cognizant that the path they have paved is subject to change and life doesn’t follow the same agenda.

After graduation, he was all aboard the college athlete train. Started out in JUCO and worked his way up to playing D2 ball. Super athletic guy, he posted his speed and agility videos on Facebook that got me amped. I was ready to watch him catch a ball on the tail end of a back flip. With the help of his agent, Quez found himself in conversation with scouts from the Chicago Bears and Washington Redskins around the time of the draft.

“At the end of the day, it didn’t pan out but the whole process of being able to talk with NFL scouts was pretty dope.”

During his last semester of school, he came up with the idea for his non-profit organization, Touching Soles. His efforts started in his hometown of Rockford, at West Middle School, scattered throughout Illinois, and even in Miami for a minute. He attended a career day and gave away seven pairs of shoes and a couple of pairs at a local community center.

“I’ve always wanted to give back. That was one thing that I knew, whatever I did in life, I wanted to give back.”

Quez holds this as one of his highest priorities and has ambitions of starting a scholarship for students within the next five years. As for now, shoes ain’t cheap and all of them are coming out of his pocket so check out his site and donate to the betterment of mankind.

A couple weeks ago, I saw a post from Quez saying that he released his first single, Rock Out, and I can listen to it now on SoundCloud and Spotify… Damn, on Spotify? That’s legit – I use that shit everyday. Gave the song a gander and it was an instant vibe.

“I got the beat from a guy in London and I was sitting there listening to it and the lyrics just came to me. The whole thing with Rock Out is I just want to have a good time. I’ve got my crew behind me and we’re gonna rock out, that’s the vision. Team no sleep.”

Music video coming soon:

One of his big time motivators is, long time amigo, Fred VanVleet. They started playing basketball against each other around 5-6 years old and really began a friendship during their time at West Middle School. Growing up with someone and watching their dreams become a reality has to be a surreal feeling. Going from watching Lebron and Kobe games at 12 years old, to watching your homie square up with Lebron’s bitch ass is wild. #GoCeltics

Luke: “So you talk to Fred often?”
Quez: “Shit, I talk to him everyday. He’s on his way here now.”
Luke: “Seriously? Cool.”

Quez, it was truly a pleasure chatting with you and hearing your incredibly interesting story. You’re a role model to all and don’t stop grinding until you’re where you want to be. It’s a good story to hear because as much as you want to be able to plan every aspect of your life out, ya just can’t. Not 100% accurately, at least. Don’t let anyone stop you from pursuing what you want, follow your gut, and don’t be afraid to make a couple changes along the way.

You Had To Go With That One?

I would consider myself a pretty decent driver… I make complete stops at stop signs, always use my blinker, and I only Tweet when I’ve got a real good one cookin’ and I don’t want to forget. I’ve gotten a couple of warnings and I’ve been in one (not my fault) accident. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned about the ways of the road it’s that there’s a special place in hell for people who drive the same cars used for police vehicles.

Actually, this is a circumstantial statement… If you’re given a Crown Victorian or Chevy Impala for your first car, or it’s all you could afford, I respect the grind ✊🏼 . But if you wake up in the morning, brush your teeth, eat breakfast, take a half day of work to go to a dealership with the intent of purchasing a white Ford Explorer, get the fuck out of town. What kind of psychopath are you?

What joy does one get by fooling others into thinking you can pull them over at any second? A real sick individual, I’ll tell you what! Numerous times a car that looks like a law enforcer has pulled up behind me, but it always turns out to be a woman talking on her phone, or a middle aged man in a wife beater smoking a cigarette.

There has to be a billion different kinds of cars you can pick. If you subtract the % of cars for the people who drive on the opposite side of the road and smart cars, that still leaves a shit ton of cars you can choose from. There is nothing you can gain from having that specific kind of car, except to look like a wannabe cop and strike the fear of God into civilian drivers.

It’s safe to say that nobody likes driving when there are cops around. I appreciate the hell out of their services and for protecting us, but they scare the piss out of me on the road. I could be driving under the speed limit, behind a semi, as a school bus driver, and I would still slam on my breaks if I saw a cop sitting on the side of the road. It’s wild that red, white, and blue are the colors of freedom, unless they’re flashing in your rear view mirror.

Please God, Not Another Cavs vs. Warriors Championship

Imagining a life without sports is damn near close to a life without…. I’m honestly not sure what life would be like without sports. Probably not very good, and I’m willing to bet on that one {Cheers to legal sports betting}.

As much as I enjoy the sweet nothings of watching athletic events, I am what one could call a “Playoff Bandwagon Fan” for certain sports. Football and golf are easy to keep track of; football is a couple nights a week / all day Sunday thing for a couple of months, and yeah I might miss the Thursday and Friday rounds of golf tournaments, but the weekends are where it starts to get wild. Hockey, baseball, and basketball; no offense, but you’re going to have to let me know when playoffs start. There are too many games going on at all different times and it’s hard to keep up, mainly because I’m rocking the no cable life and my mom changed the locks so I can’t get in to watch them at her place. I do get updates on Twitter, so I’m not entirely out of the loop.. I’m just not dedicated enough to the cause I guess.

NHL playoffs are going on and they’re pretty exciting to watch. The Blackhawks aren’t involved in any way shape or form. They’re also very far away from being a Stanley Cup contender again, but playoff hockey is too entertaining not to watch.

I can’t be the only person who is going to be more than slightly upset if it’s a Cavaliers vs Warriors finals for the FOURTH. YEAR. IN. A. ROW!

The 2015 season was cool when the Warriors were the young guns on the block, taking home championships, and snatching the most wins in a season record from the Bulls.

We all remember 2016 when the Warriors blew a 3-1 series lead which led to some of the most comical pictures you will every come across.

Lebron also brought home his first ring for Cleveland, which made it an exciting and emotional year for him.

Alright, 2017, the year the tie is broken, who’s taking 2 out of 3? Golden State won, alright move on, let some of the other teams have a turn to play. No one wants to watch the same two teams play again, and again, and again, and one more time.

I have a problem with how repetitive it’s getting, I do not have a problem with the players. I have nothing but respect for any professional athlete. I’m sore for 3 days after a pick up game with my buddies and these guys are playing nearly every night of the week. I mean there are a few players that I don’t like, but they did it to themselves.

On the Warriors, I dislike Draymond Green and Zaza Pachulia. Why? Click on their name and find out, it won’t take you very long to see that they’re both big ol’ bags of dicks. They’re dirty players, and not in a Ron Artest way. They take cheap shots to try and take players out of the game, they’re clowns. For the rest of the team who I’m familiar with, I don’t have a problem with them. Curry and Durant seem like good guys who are both incredibly talented at basketball, and you can’t blame Durant for wanting to be a championship contender, because he wasn’t getting anywhere with OKC. And I’ve always liked Nick Young and that his nickname is Swaggy P.

The Jordan/Lebron conversation is one I don’t care to have because people are going to believe what they want and no one is going to convince them otherwise. They are both incredibly talented NBA legends and just being involved in the conversation of who is the GOAT speaks volume. Just let me know when Lebron gets to golf with Larry Bird and Bill Murray, drops a hole in one, plays basketball with the Looney Tunes, dabbles in minor league baseball, ALL AS THE STAR OF ONE OF THE GREATEST MOVIES OF EVERY 90’S BOYS LIFE! That’s all I’m going to say on the topic.

Slight detour, but now we’re back. Lebron is the only player on the Cavalier’s that I don’t care for. As a person, I bet he’s fine. His kids seem to like him, I heard he’s a charitable man, and he’s rich as fuuuuuuck. But as a basketball player, he’s the biggest flopping piece of shit to walk the face of this earth. Talented athlete, but still a lil’ bitch.

I wasn’t going to be mad if we saw the Bucks, or Timberpuppies, Raptors, or maybe the Jazz advance a little farther, it’s cool seeing the underdogs make a run. All aboard the Celtics and Rockets bandwagons, let’s make things interesting. I know Golden State is an overall powerhouse, but I still don’t understand how Cleveland makes it this far every year.

Feliz Día de La Madre, Moms

We live in a country where we like to party, that’s why we have a holiday for everything. We have Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, 4th of July, MLK Jr Day, Memorial Day, Cinco de Mayo (which is just an excuse for Americans to get drunk and drink Tequila… wait that’s every Friday and Saturday for some people 😳) and the list goes on and on.

None of these holiday’s would even be a bleep on a technically non-existent radar if it weren’t for one thing, or species I should say…. Women. That is why Mother’s Day is single handedly the most important day of the year and should be treated as more than just another Sunday.

As much as my mother can rustle my jimmies, I am eternally grateful for her, and all women, for doing what they’re genetically designed to do by bringing people into existence. All of our holiday’s wouldn’t be shit if it weren’t for moms; whether you believe in religion or not, Mary was Jesus’ mother, all of our President’s have mothers (Trump might’ve been hatched, not 100% convinced otherwise), and all of the soldiers fighting for our freedom were once little tikes being told to eat their vegetables by, you guessed it, their mothers.

“Well, children couldn’t be created without sperm, so men are actually responsible for bringing everyone into existence.”

Alright chief, slow your role. We’ll give you Father’s Day to acknowledge your 45 seconds of humping like a rabbit in order to fulfill the reproductive process, but don’t get ahead of yourself.

Try this on for size:

Big daddy Warbucks stumbles across an empty plot of land and says, “And on this here property, I shall build a house.” He goes out and hires a construction company to build his house. Fast forward to however long it takes to build a house and boom, the house is on that once empty piece of land. Can he honestly say that he was responsible for the creation of that house? Absolutely not! He can say that without him it could not have been built but he did nothing more than provide the financial measures for it to be accomplished.

“My daddy built this house with his bare hands six years ago.”
“Your daddy is a liar.”

Just like building a baby, all a man does is provide his mandatory seed. Along with whatever financial/emotional support, massage giving responsibilities, and chocolate craving contributions he did for his baby mama, to avoid her ripping his head off like a Praying Mantis during the nine month pregnancy, is the extent to which he is responsible for creating a child.

Women literally grow a baby inside of them. Your temporary home was in your mothers stomach and once you were out in the world, her body produced food for you. That’s wild.

It’s safe to say that I’m a, quote unquote, mama’s boy but I will happily own up to that. I think the world of my mother and there’s not a chance I would be the grown boy that I am today without her.

From a young age, I knew I had a closer bond with my mom in comparison to my dad. Yeah, I remember my dad would let me beat him in putting contests, watch most of my sporting events, and taught me the ways to snag a mean tan by the pool; but nothing can trump my mom staying up all hours of the night when I was sick and helping me through a handful of rough breakups.

And if I hear a sentence like, “I’m a mother to 6 beautiful cats,” come outcha mouth I’m going to smack you and say,

I don’t plan on doing it anytime soon, or at all, but I don’t think there’s a bond or love strong enough that’s comparable to that of a mother and her child.

Unfortunately, life happens and my heart and prayers go out to everyone who has lost their mother every single day… One of my good friends and roommate in college lost his mom a few years before I met him. We had a couple heart-to-hearts and it was easy for me to see how much she meant to him. Obviously, my mom wanted to know about the guys I was living with and that topic got brought up. Though it was never directly talked about, he was habitually calling her “mom” when he saw her and she continues to ask how he’s doing to this day. Moms are effing awesome.

If you don’t have a good relationship with your mom, I get it. I haven’t talked to my dad in nearly three years so I understand how family relationships can go south. Whether you have communication with her or not, give her a quick thanks and let her know that you’re grateful to be alive because you wouldn’t be without her.

What’s that phrase about women? “Can’t live with em’, can’t live without em.” Yeah, it’s safe to say that’s about as true of a statement as you can hear. Next to the Warriors blowing a 3-1 lead.

Happy Mother’s Day to all mamas out there, and keep doing what you’re doing ✊🏼

No, You Do Not Like ALL Music

Talking to people is easy. All you gotta do is start asking questions and the conversation flows like the Nile River. Hey, how ya doin? Where ya from? How old are you? Where’d you go to school? Where ya work? Boom, just started a 3 minute conversation, keep it going.

One of the questions I like asking is what kind of music someone likes… Pretty easy question, just tell me what you listen to on a regular basis. Don’t let, “Oh, I like all music” come outcha mouth because you’re lying. I personally can’t begin to imagine how much music is out in the world. There are dudes wearing loincloths in the middle of Africa banging on drums, that’s music. Bagpipes in Ireland. Chief Keef… It’s impossible to say you like all music.

If I were to ask you to listen to a song I’m sure you would oblige, so it’s fair to say that you would LISTEN to all music; doesn’t mean you like it. I’ve narrowed it down to I will listen to any music… except classical. Not going to find me listening to Mozart in this lifetime. It’s easier to answer the question in Pandora stations, because it covers such a ride range of songs, you can pick up the vibe of their music taste. Blink-182, you obviously dig the 90’s; Beyoncé you like pop/todays hits; Backstreet Boys you like, well boys..

If I could pick 4 stations to listen to for the rest of my life they’d be Goo Goo Dolls, Wiz Khalifa, Lil Dicky, & Ed Sheeran; my number 5 would be a Barstool station, it’ll happen. Luckily, I’m living the Spotify life and can listen to whatever music I want when I so please. I have a very broad music selection, and I just throw it into a playlist so I’ve got like 300 songs all over the spectrum

Drink it in, a little taste of my music selection. I’d like to draw your eye to the middle three songs. Te Ves Fatal, according to an RBI cook, is just a song talking mad shit about a girl but the tune is so catchy I listen to it at least twice a day. And I would like to thank Barstool for introducing us.

https://www.facebook.com/barstoolsports/videos/10156128390977502/

Everybody loves a little Fleetwood Mac and if you haven’t heard the most beautiful thing ever, prepare to cry. And of course Migos, making bangers for the last couple years. I’m all over the damn map and the selection continues to expand daily.

You better come up with a good answer if I ever ask you what music you like or you and I are going to sit and listen to Russian show-tunes until the cows come home.

December Golf In Illinois…. Whaaaaat?

December 2, 2017, marks a special day in my life. In 11 years of playing recreational/competitive golf, that monumental day was the first December round of golf I have ever played. It probably doesn’t seem like an exciting situation to you Average Joe’s, but any one who has hit the sweet spot of a 7 iron knows how important that last round of the year is.

What makes it more sweet is that it was my first round in a solid 4 months; I’m surprised I was still able to make contact with the ball. Sure maybe I lost a handful of balls and my dignity (threw up the Hawaiian 9-0), but there were some darts thrown that give me hope I’ve still got it buried under a couple layers of rust.

The course was Atwood and I’ve always had a soft spot for this course since firing a 79 and winning the boys 14-15 y/o area tournament 💪🏼 Honestly, all I had to hear was golf and I was in, didn’t matter where we played.

Our foursome’s average age was damn near 35 years lower than any of the other groups out there, I wasn’t mad about it; those olds dudes are piping it down the middle every time. Sure they aren’t winning any long drive contests but fairway fairway putt putt is not a bad way to play.

I thought that the greens keepers weren’t trying to have these hacks come chop up their fairways and greens, but you’d think with their pin locations that’s exactly what they wanted to accomplish. I thought I was going for a leisurely last round before putting the sticks in the attic, not reading a putt from four different angels on Masters Sunday. 18/18 pin locations were on the middle of a ridge; hit it past, bye bye ball; leave it short, have with a 4 foot sweeping left to right putt, jackass.

I’ve accepted that I peaked in the sport of golf back in my competitive days. Playing for Rock Valley CC I was playing golf 6 out of the 7 days of the week, it would be impossible for me to continue sucking. Yeah there were a fair share of low rounds and more than I’m proud to admit not so low rounds, but never will I play to that competitive level.

I could of lost all my golf balls, broken my driver, and forgot my putter before the round and I would still want to go out and play. I’ve got the itch and playing Rory McIlroy 2016 on Xbox isn’t cutting it; might be making a spontaneous trip to Florida, I’m pretty sure that’s the only logical solution… maybe.

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