Smokes of The Office

The Office.

Everyone loves it.

Easily one of the top 5 comedy shows out there and rightfully so. I’m on my second run through of indulging and I have some friends that are easily on their 5th of 6th lap of rewatching this magnificent series. Trying to decipher which scenes were scripted and which were completely impromptu gives me all of the entertainment I need. Also, going back and watching the other actors try to keep a serious face is priceless. It’s just like Vegas, no matter how many times you go back, there’s always something new to look at.

There’s a lot of talent in this cast, and I’m not referring to ability to act. Well, maybe, everyone does a fantastic job and the show wouldn’t be what it is without the presence of every single one of them <3

but really, lot of beauts in this show and you’ll get a different answer from everyone you ask but try this sequence of most attractive characters on for size:

5. Erin Hannon

Sweet and genuine soul, with a pretty face – and that is all she wrote on this one… Her squeaky voice, super teethy smile, and past relations with Gabe are definite deal breakers. Not good Erin, minus 5.

4. Angela Martin

Not my most popular opinion but Angela’s got it going on, starting at like season 3. It could be my overlap of her character in New Girl but Dwight flipped a switch on this fox.

3. Jan Levinson

Jan freaking Levinson-Gould, you majestic goddess! The only reason you are not my number 1 is because of, in your exact words, your ability to be self destructive. We’d never make it.




But on the real, she could handcuff me.

2. Karen Filippelli

Karen, you’re a babe and you’ve already conquered my heart as Ann Perkins. Give someone else a chance, please.

1. Pam Beesly

LOOK AT HOW BEAUTIFUL SHE IS! Seriously, if Pam falls anywhere but number one on your list you need to seek medical attention for blindness. All around wifey material and is everything I could want in a woman. You can take this as my written proposal, I’ll be waiting patiently for your answer.

If my girl purse lady Katy stayed in the show a little longer and wasn’t just a treat for Jim to snack on, I can confidently say that she’d be in my top 5 (sorry not sorry, Erin).

As for the more frequent appearances, who knows what Meredith looked like in her younger days, I wouldn’t count her out completely. Kelly, Phyllis, Holly, and Nellie… Not a chance.

My First Time Through Game of Thrones – Season 4 Thoughts

Okie Dokie.  4 Seasons down and I can see why people have told me to hang on tight.  It is quite the emotional roller coaster.

Season 4 has been the most overall positive season so far.  I found myself wanting something to happen and then sit back and actually watch it happen.  That doesn’t seem to happen much in this show.  I usually sit back and say something out loud and then watch the opposite happen.  Example: The Red Wedding.  I was really excited to finally see a reunion with Arya and some members of her family.  But nope.  Rob and Cat are friggen dead.

But this is how I’m going to do it from now on, give you the Wiki recap per episode, then give you some little bullet points of the things that I care about.  If I don’t talk about something that went down in the episode, then I don’t really care for that story line.

So let’s get to Season 4.  If you have missed my Season 1, Season 2 or Season 3 recaps, find them HERE:

Season 1 | Season 2| Season 3

Episode 31 – “Two Swords”

Tywin oversees the reforging of Ice, the Stark ancestral sword, into two new swords, one for Jaime, who tries to deal with the loss of his sword hand and Cersei’s love, and one for King Joffrey as a wedding present. Prince Oberyn Martell, on behalf of his brother, Prince Doran of Dorne, arrives in King’s Landing with his paramour, Ellaria Sand, to attend the royal wedding and is welcomed by Tyrion. Oberyn openly reveals to Tyrion his motive for his visit: revenge against the Lannisters for the rape and murder of his sister, Elia, wife of Prince Rhaegar. In the North, while Styr and his group of cannibal Thenns reinforce TormundYgritte, and the other wildlings, Jon is released by Maester Aemon after confessing what he did during his time with the wildlings to gain information. In the RiverlandsArya and the Hound reclaim her sword, Needle, from Polliver, killing him and his men. In EssosDaenerys leads her army on a march towards Meereen, the last of the three great slave cities, though she is troubled by how her dragons are becoming less tame as they grow.


  • This Oberyn guy seems pretty likable.  He holds a pretty nasty grudge and I can respect the hell out of that.  He hates the Lannisters and so do I, minus my boy Episode 1Tyrion.  I hope he comes and gets his revenge.  He can’t really kill them all, but I sure he can kill a few people on his list and do some damage.
  • These Thenns are disgusting.  They look like they all stayed in the pool for way too long and now it’s too late.  That is probably why they are such assholes.  Who knows.  I’m still a fan of Ygritte and her very nice teeth (I’m a big teeth guy).
  • Seeing Arya get Needle back felt good.  Seeing her just kill Polliver with ease also gets me a little pumped.  In a world like this, full of murderers and deceit, you need to become numb to death and killing and the more lives Arya takes, the more dangerous she gets.
  • As for Dany, of course her dragons are going to be crazy.  They are goddamn dragons.  Quit with the “Oh no, what do I do” routine and just embrace it.  They are your babies and they’re badasses.

Episode 32 – “The Lion and the Rose”

Roose Bolton returns to the Dreadfort, where he blames Ramsay for mistreating Theon, who has been brutalized into a subservient persona called ‘Reek’. The former decides to find and kill the remaining Stark children, Bran and Rickon, who threaten the legitimacy of his new title, while tasking Ramsay to reclaim the territories under Ironborn occupation. In Dragonstone, Melisandre orders several people to be burned as a tribute to the Lord of Light, to the delight of Queen Selyse and the disgust of Davos and Shireen. In King’s Landing, Tyrion ends his relationship with Shae to protect her from his family and has her shipped off to Pentos. Jaime begins training his left-handed swordplay with the help of Bronn. King Joffrey and Margaery Tyrell are wed. Later, at the Royal Wedding feast, tensions between Joffrey and Tyrion grow—just before the former succumbs to poisoned wine and dies. A grief-stricken Cersei accuses Tyrion of the murder and has him arrested, while Ser Dontos, a former knight, advises Sansa to leave with him in order to survive.
  • Seeing Theon complete his full transformation into Reek after being tortured is kind of nuts.  I honestly don’t even remember what Theon acts like.  Also, because I have no idea how the timeline works in this show, I don’t know how long he was being tortured.
  • The Red Woman is trouble.  That’s just facts.  How many lives have been lost because of the Lord of Light?  Too gosh darn many.  This lady is the kind of crazy hot lady my dad has been telling me about my whole life.  Gotta stay away, but just can’t.
  • I like the Jamie/Bronn combo.  I like how up front they both are about how they’re both bad people.  No games, just a little charm and honesty.
  • Now we get to the HIGHLIGHT OF THE SERIES thus far.  King Joffrey is dead! 206606.max-620x600Watching this was glorious.  I loved it.  It seemed painful as shit too, which helps.  The only part of the death that I didn’t like was that I wish somebody like Arya or Sansa had killed him and then talked to shit to him as he was dying.  He and his father had hurt the Starks so much that I thought a cool monologue would be how he went.  But either way, The King is Dead!

Episode 33 – “Breaker of Chains”

Tywin begins grooming Tommen to be the next king and enlists Oberyn and Mace Tyrell as his fellow judges for the impending trial of Tyrion, who decides to pick Jaime as his witness. Littlefinger, who hired Ser Dontos, kills him and smuggles Sansa out of King’s Landing. In the Riverlands, Arya and Sandor encounter a benevolent farmer and his daughter, whom Sandor robs, to Arya’s disgust. In Dragonstone, Davos tries to figure out how to replenish Stannis’ depleted forces and requests a loan from the Iron Bank of Braavos to pay for a group of mercenaries called the “Golden Company”. In the North, Sam, fearing for Gilly’s safety, has her and the baby moved out of Castle Black to nearby Mole’s Town. Meanwhile, the wildlings continue to raid northern villages. The Night’s Watch receive word that the band of Night’s Watch mutineers have set up camp at Craster‘s Keep. Jon tells the Watch to organize a party to attack the mutineers, as they cannot risk having any information about the weakness of Castle Black’s defenses leak to Mance Rayder‘s approaching army. Daenerys lays siege to Meereen.


  • Tommen seems like a good fella.  I guess anyone who follows Joffrey would seem like a good guy, but Tommen seems to actually care about whether he is a good king or not.
  • Even though he helped get Sansa out of King’s Landing, I still can’t trust Littlefinger.  He is a selfish little rat (Physically and Figuratively) who will stab anyone in the back to survive.  He’s a bitch and I think Sansa can beat him up.
  • Jon just keeps making moves that I say to myself outloud.  I agree with everything that he does and I love his leadership.

Episode 34 – “Oathkeeper”

Daenerys successfully captures Meereen amidst a slave revolt and immediately seeks justice for the slain slave children by nailing 163 masters to posts. At sea, Littlefinger admits to Sansa that he was involved in Joffrey’s death. In King’s Landing, Olenna, who is planning to leave, also implies to Margaery that she was involved in the poisoning and convinces her to seduce Tommen before Cersei has a chance to turn him against her. Jaime meets with Tyrion and is convinced of his innocence. However, Cersei is adamant about Tyrion’s guilt and orders Jaime to hunt down and kill Sansa. Jaime instead tasks Brienne with finding and protecting her, giving her both his Valyrian sword and Podrick as her squire. In the North, in an effort to get rid of Jon, Alliser Thorne and Janos Slynt conspire to allow Jon to lead an expedition against the mutineers, who have captured Bran’s party and forced him to reveal his identity. Further north, a White Walker takes Craster’s last newborn son to a secret ritual site, where he is transformed into a Walker.
  • Daenerys is biting off a little more than she can chew.  She is the most beautiful character I have ever seen but I am not liking her decision making.  There are too many slave owners with money to win people’s opinions and I could definitely see these owners rebelling against her.
  • Seeing Olenna and Littlefinger just shows me how much Olenna hates the Lannisters.  I would never work with Littlefinger, but I guess when you are saving your family from Cersei, anyone who can help is welcome.
  • Jamie is getting more and more likeable each episode.  I didn’t think I would ever like him, but alas, here we are.
  • I wouldn’t mind seeing more behind the scenes stuff with the White Walkers.  By behind the scenes, I mean like how and where they live.  Seeing them take this baby and making him a Walker was sweet.  I want to see more White Walker stuff, and I’m sure I will very soon.

Episode 35 – “First of His Name”

Tommen is crowned king. Cersei meets with Margaery, Tywin, and Oberyn, hoping to sway them to her advantage in the coming trial against Tyrion. In the Vale, Littlefinger takes Sansa to the Eyrie, where she is to pose as his niece. He is then pressured to marry Lysa Arryn that same day. It is revealed that the pair killed Jon Arryn while framing the Lannisters. On the Kingsroad, the Hound catches Arya practicing her water dancing and angers her by mocking that fighting style and Syrio Forel. On the road, Brienne finds out that Podrick has no practical skills as a squire. However, she is impressed with the fact that he killed a Kingsguard in order to protect Tyrion. Beyond the Wall, Jon’s group attacks the mutineers. Locke attempts to kidnap Bran in the confusion but is killed by Hodor, warged into by Bran. Bran and his company then continue their trek north while Jon’s party kills all of the mutineers and burns down Craster’s Keep. In Meereen, after Jorah informs her about the fallback to slavery of Astapor and Yunkai, Daenerys decides to postpone her invasion of Westeros to bring order to Slaver’s Bay and pronounces herself queen.


  • Lysa Arryn might crack my Mount Rushmore of my least favorite characters on the show.  She is gross looking and a terrible mother.  She has raised a punching bag who is supposed to rule one day, yet he sucks milk from his mother’s tit at the age of 15.  Now her and Littlefinger together makes me nauseous and I hope that ends GoTTommensoon.
  • The fighting scene at Craster’s shack was neat.  Again, I was denied my wish for a reunion scene with any member of the Stark family.  All I want is like a 10-second shot of two members of the family coming together and being happy.  Is that too much to ask?  Apparently in this show, it is.
  • Daenerys’ call to stay in Mareen has been her smartest move she has made in a while.  She was doing too much too fast with no experience of ruling.  Who would follow a Queen with no history of ruling any sort of Kingdom? Ja feel?

Episode 36 – “The Laws of God and Men”

In Essos, Davos manages to convince the Iron Bank to back Stannis while also resecuring Salladhor Saan and his pirates to Stannis’ cause. In Meereen, Daenerys attempts to take on her new role as queen as she listens to the requests of her subjects, including nobleman Hizdahr zo Loraq and a man whose goats were killed by Daenerys’ increasingly uncontrollable dragons. In the Dreadfort, Yara leads an attack in an effort to rescue Theon, who refuses to come with her, forcing her to escape. Ramsay rewards Theon for being obedient and, in order to take Moat Cailin, tasks him to pretend to be “Theon” instead of “Reek”. In King’s Landing, Tywin puts a bounty on the Hound’s head and instructs Varys to continue spying on Daenerys. Later that day, Tyrion is brought to trial for Joffrey’s murder. However, all of the witnesses brought in testify against him, including Ser Meryn TrantGrand Maester Pycelle, Cersei, Varys and, to Tyrion’s shock, Shae, who gives a solid testimony. Angry, humiliated, and defeated, Tyrion demands a trial by combat.
  • If it weren’t for Davos, Stannis would suck.  Davos is the only guy that keeps me interested in that storyline at all and as for the actual show, Stannis would not have any army if it weren’t for Davos.  What a guy.
  • Obviously these dragons are becoming more wild, they’re fucking dragons Dany.  Keep them wild because that is what makes them unpredictable, which is your advantage.
  • It really sucks watching Ramsey control Theon so well.  He is a great villain because of how uncomfortable he make me.  In a show where they constantly show heads being cut off, rape and torture, Ramsey’s personality is what really gets to me.
  • Nobody takes advantage of a good trial by combat like Tyrion.  The dude knows his loopholes and knows people will fight for him for the chances of unlimited amount of Lannister gold.

Episode 37 – “Mockingbird”

Cersei appoints the Mountain as her champion in the upcoming trial by combat, while both Jaime and Bronn refuse to fight for Tyrion. Oberyn steps up, seeking a chance to avenge Elia by killing the Mountain, who raped and killed her during the rebellion. Daenerys has sex with Daario before sending him off on a mission to deal with the resurgent slavers at Yunkai. Melisandre and Selyse prepare for their departure from Dragonstone, intending to take Shireen as well. Alliser Thorne rejects Jon’s offer to seal the tunnel. Brienne and Podrick meet Hot Pie and learn of Arya’s adventures. They then resolve to travel to the Vale, deducing she would go there in search of living relatives. In the Vale, Lysa is enraged when she witnesses Littlefinger kissing Sansa. Later, she threatens to push Sansa through the Moon Door, but Littlefinger intervenes and pushes Lysa to her death.


  • This Oberyn/Mountain fight is going to be pretty solid.  Oberyn has to know his shit if he accepts to be Tyrion’s champion with such confidence.
  • Daario is the luckiest man in all Seven Kingdoms and beyond.  The dude banged Dany and is still a charming man who can fight his way out of anything.  Big 208976.max-620x600shoutout to you, man.  Real recognizes real.
  • What is good Hot Pie?? The man, the myth, the legend hasn’t changed a bit.  His fat ass is still as chatty as ever, just letting go that he knows Arya Stark.  Thank god it was Brienne that he told and not a threat.
  • RIP in peace to Aunt Lysa.  Littlefinger ended that power couple so fast.  She went out as annoying as she came in.  Now her son has to die soon right? No way will that pussy survive anything.

Episode 38 – “The Mountain and the Viper”

The wildlings attack Mole’s Town. Gilly is discovered by Ygritte, who spares her. Ramsay forces Theon to get the Ironborn to surrender Moat Cailin. The Ironborn surrender in hopes of returning home but are flayed and slaughtered by Ramsay. As a reward for securing Moat Cailin, Roose legitimizes Ramsay as a Bolton. In the Vale, Sansa reveals to a council investigating Lysa’s death her true identity and convinces the council of Littlefinger’s innocence. While Littlefinger starts grooming Robin Arryn, Lysa’s son, as the Lord of the Vale, the Hound and Arya arrive and are informed of Lysa’s death. In King’s Landing, the trial by combat starts. Oberyn gains the upper hand, but his desire to force the Mountain to confess his crimes gives the latter the chance to grab the former. He kills Oberyn by crushing his skull while confessing to the rape and murder of Elia. Tywin sentences Tyrion to death. In Essos, Barristan Selmy receives a letter intended for Jorah that pardons him as a reward for spying on Daenerys, who exiles him from Meereen as a result.


  • Snaps for Ygritte for saving Gilly and the baby (snap snap).  Ygritte is a pretty damn good person for growing up around the other Wildlings.  Big fan of her.  Hopefully, she and Jon can somehow get back together and take on Westeros together.1
  • Ramsey just continues to grow and grow as a villain.  That is some good writing because he came into this thing as just a side piece that tortured.
  • This fight was sweet.  I’ve learned one major thing from this how when it comes to fighting, do NOT get cocky and talk.  Oberyn talked way too much and got his head popped like a grape because of it.
  • I actually liked Jorah, but the dude is a spy.  Dany has Barristan and her boo thang and has no more room to even give Jorah a little slack.   Hit the road loser.

Episode 39 – “The Watchers of the Wall”

The Night’s Watch prepares for the wildling invasion. Gilly and her son arrive at Castle Black, where Sam hides them in an underground room. The wildlings attack from both sides. Tormund’s army gets through from the south and engages the Night’s Watch. One giant manages to break through the tunnel leading into Castle Black but is killed by Grenn and five others, at the cost of their own lives. Alliser Thorne goes to fight in the southern part, leaving Janos Slynt in charge. However, Slynt proves to be incompetent and is tricked into going down the main level, effectively leaving Jon in charge. After watching Jon kill Styr, Ygritte prepares to kill him but is shot by Olly. Jon holds her in his arms as she dies. With the help of Jon’s direwolf, Ghost, the Night’s Watch secure the ground level of Castle Black, leading to Tormund’s arrest. The wall climbers are obliterated by a massive scythe launched by the Watch. The wildlings retreat but not for long, Jon predicts. Seeing no other choice, Jon goes beyond the Wall to find and kill Mance Rayder.


  • This fight was the best battle scene yet.  Seeing the giants in action was sweet.  If we are being honest here, I watched this episode while working out on the bike and I was going maybe 115 MPH.  I was so amped up.  So much planning and executing went into the attack.
  • The reality: Ygritte is now dead and my favorite living couple is now toast.  (Ned and Cat hold the title of Favorite Dead Couple, thanks for asking.)


Episode 40 – “The Children”

Jon’s negotiation with Mance Rayder is interrupted when Stannis and his army overrun the wildling camp, taking Mance as prisoner on the former’s suggestion. Bran’s party comes upon the large heart tree from his visions but is attacked by skeletal beasts, who kill Jojen; the others are saved by a child, who takes them to the three-eyed raven, revealed to be an old man. In the Vale, Brienne and Podrick come across Arya and the Hound, whom Brienne engages and critically wounds. He begs Arya to kill him, but she refuses and leaves with Brienne searching for her. She enters a ship headed to Braavos, intending to reunite with Jaqen H’ghar. Meanwhile, in King’s Landing, Cersei orders Qyburn to do anything to save the Mountain, who is poisoned by Oberyn’s blade. She gets involved with Jaime, who releases Tyrion. Tyrion later finds Shae in Tywin’s bed and strangles her to death. He then confronts Tywin in the privy and kills him, escaping the city with Varys. In Meereen, Daenerys is visited by a citizen who brings the charred remains of his daughter, who was burned by Drogon. As a precaution, Daenerys chains her two other dragons in the catacombs.


  • Finally, this goddamn tree.  Bran’s story has been kind of toward the back of the pack for total excitement from all of the characters.  This tree and three-eyed raven better either give me a cool story to watch or give Bran some control over his Warg powers.
  • Arya is now her own woman.  She is traveling at the age of like 16 and I had to use a GPS to find a gas station when I was 16.  We may be at different points in our lives.
  • Tyrion killing that bitch Shae and his dad (while pooping) was awesome.  I’m glad he got away and killed his dad.  Tywin was going to take over the world.  He had the power, knowledge, army, money and was a complete asshole.
  • Finally, chaining up some dragons is a terrible idea.  They are going to hate you, and these dragons are her biggest advantage to take over some more empires.  Dumb ass decision from the Girl with 45 different names.  I get it Dany, you’ve been busy lately, but do you have to say every goddamn name every time you meet somebody who doesn’t know you? Jesus.


So that’s it.  4 Seasons in the books.

Every season is crazier than the last and 4 keeps the theme going.  I’m sure I will go through 5 pretty quickly so be ready for it.  Thank you for reading this, or even caring.

Winter. Is. Coming.

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My First Time Through Game of Thrones – Season 3 Thoughts

Holy shit.  What a season.  Three seasons into it and what a roller coaster it was.  After the crazy ending to season 1, season 2 came off pretty slow and story building.  Every series can’t come at you with the shock value and action that the ending of season 1 gave, so the story building in season 2 was needed to give me the feelings that I got in season 3.

If you’re new to these, you can catch my thoughts on Season 1 and Season 2.  I give you the episode, title and a little recap from Wikipedia because I am such a good guy.

Well, we might as well get into it riiiiiiiight… NOW:

Episode 21 – Valar Dohaeris

Some of the Night’s Watchmen, including Tarly and Jeor, survive the White Walkers’ attack and pledge to return to the Wall to warn the Seven Kingdoms. Snow is brought before Rayder, the “King beyond the Wall”, and pledges his loyalty to the Wildlings. A scarred Tyrion tries to get Casterly Rock from Tywin, who promises other things instead. Margaery engages in charity work with the orphans of King’s Landing. Baelish offers to help Sansa escape King’s Landing. Ros advises Shae not to trust him. Davos is rescued by Saan, who does not want any more connections with Baratheon, and returns to Dragonstone, where he unsuccessfully tries to kill Melisandre, who blames him for convincing Baratheon not to let her join the battle, and is imprisoned. In Essos, Targaryen arrives in the city of Astapor to buy an army of brutally-trained slave soldiers, the “Unsullied”. She is saved from an assassination attempt by the warlocks of Qarth by Selmy, the former Kingsguard commander, who pledges his loyalty.


  • Well somehow, Sam survived the White Walkers.  That had to be luck or something.  Maybe the White Walkers loved his character as much as I did and all agreed that he was off limits.
  • Over to Jon and the Wildlings: everyone looks how I would imagine they would, except Ygritte.  Her teeth are perfect even though she doesn’t have any dental care out there beyond the wall, so in order to get in Ygritte’s panties, Jon declares his loyalty. Tyrion should know better than to trust his dad (eye roll).
  • Margery is a babe and likes to show how nice she is.  Could be worse.
  • Baelish is an absolute worm and I wouldn’t trust him trading halloween candy.  The guy is scum and has a very punchable face.  What a little bitch.
  • The whole Baratheon storyline doesn’t really compel me too much, so I don’t really care about anything that happened in this episode.
  • Now Daenarys on the other hand, is something I really care about.  This girl is a bad bitch and she knows it.  I love her and her looks aren’t too shabby either.  Now that she has another guy by her side I can see her rattling off some good plans and gaining some steam.  Her dragons are easily the biggest advantage anyone has and with her motivated attitude, she is about to get some shit done.


Episode 22 – Dark Wings, Dark Words

Brienne continues escorting Jaime across the Riverlands to King’s Landing. He engages her in a fight, which is interrupted by Bolton soldiers. After receiving the news of the sack of Winterfell and the disappearance of Bran and RickonRobb diverts his attentions from the war against the Lannisters to attend Catelyn‘s father’s funeral in Riverrun, angering Karstark, who seeks vengeance for his sons who were killed by the Lannisters. AryaGendry and Hot Pie also make for Riverrun, but are waylaid by a rebel group, the “Brotherhood without Banners”, and are taken to an inn, where the captured Sandor reveals the former’s identity. Margaery and her grandmother Olenna, the “Queen of Thorns”, convince Sansa to tell them about Joffrey’s flawed character. Theon is tortured by unknown captors. Bran, Rickon, Osha and Hodor encounter the siblings Jojen and Meera, children of the Stark bannerman Howland. Jojen, who has been sharing Bran’s strange dreams, tells him that he is a warg, able to enter the minds of animals.


  • Brienne was literally just dealt a shitty deck here.  I feel like she has been dealt one of those hands her whole life.  Jamie is trained by the greatest fighters in Westeros and is a perfect and witty smartass who knows how to push anyone’s buttons.  It is only a matter of time before Jamie escapes and most likely kills Brienne.  If that is the case, then Brienne literally just failed at every chance she got since her win in that tournament when we first met her.  Brutal.
  • It worries me that Robb isn’t focusing on the war.  He was kicking so much ass and has to keep his momentum.  If he stops and gets sentimental humanizes himself, then his ass will be grass.  Just keep that momentum and go get this shit.
  • These Brotherhood Without Banners guys don’t scare me.  Arya is tougher in one little fingertip than the rest of these guys are in general.
  • Now back to Margery, I LOVE her grandma Olenna.  She is so sassy but she keeps it real.  She reminds me of the character Margeret Brown in Titanic.  Surrounded by a bunch of stuck-up assholes but still keeps it real and loves to a have a good time.  I want to drink some wine with grandma Olenna for sure.
  • No real thoughts on Theon.  He was kind of a bitch anyway.
  • Bran being a Warg kind of pisses me off becasue just think if the whole Stark crew were still together.  Ned being a total beast with badass Robb behind him followed by the fiesty little ones Arya and magical Bran.  What a squad.  Goddamn it.



Episode 23 – Walk of Punishment

Robb and Catelyn attend the funeral in Riverrun. Tywin decides to send Baelish to Lysa intending to have them married in order to secure her alliance, making Tyrion the new Master of Coin. While Hot Pie decides to stay at the inn, Arya and Gendry follow the Brotherhood. Learning of the massacre at the Fist of the First Men, Rayder sends Snow with a band of Wildlings to scale the Wall and attack the Watch while it is weakened. The surviving men of the Night’s Watch arrive back at Craster’s Keep, where Tarly witnesses Gilly give birth to a son. Theon is freed from torture and captivity by an unknown man, who later rescues him again. Melisandre leaves Dragonstone for an unknown mission, stating that the blood of a King is required for victory. Targaryen agrees to buy all the 8,000 Unsullied and the translator Missandei for one of her dragons, against Selmy’s and Jorah‘s advice. Jaime persuades his captor Locke not to let Brienne be raped, but Locke cuts off the former’s sword hand.


  • I’ve already given my thoughts on Robb going to this funeral and getting away from focusing on this war.
  • I’m glad bitch-ass Baelish is getting out of here.  Go as far away as you can.
  • Sam sure loves himself some Gilly.  Sam would be a solid dad, but just not under these circumstances.  More like, if he had a steady job as a middle school English teacher or something.
  • Daenerys agrees to give up a dragon but there is a -45% chance she actually intends to give one up, that is a fact.  She is smart and will definetely walk out with these Unsullied AND all three dragons.
  • Finally, holy shit, that hand cutting scene was intense and actually made me feel good because Jamie is just that much less dangerous.  He can still talk and fight with his off hand, but he no longer as an enormous advantage over others later down the road.

Episode 24 – And Now His Watch is Ended

Theon is betrayed by the rescuer, who returns him to the prison for torture. After a failed escape attempt, Jaime believes that he is lost without his sword hand; but Brienne, knowing what he did for her, urges him not to give up hope. Varys tells Tyrion how he became a eunuch, and that he now has in his power the magician who castrated him, advising Tyrion to be patient for vengeance. At Craster’s keep, the surviving Night’s Watchmen, starving, come into conflict with their host. Craster and Jeor are slain in the struggle and Tarly flees with Gilly and her son. Arya and Gendry are taken to the secret cave of the Brotherhood, meeting their leader, Dondarrion, who later sentences Sandor to trial by combat with him. Margaery proposes marriage between Sansa and Loras. Targaryen meets with Kraznys to complete the trade of a dragon for the Unsullied army. She tests the Unsullied, then orders them to kill their former masters, reclaims her dragon and frees the Unsullied, who all decide to follow her freely.

Thoughts: A few things happen here, but I am not too interested in any but one.

  • First, Theon doesn’t really do anything for me.
  • Brienne is nice and all but there is no doubt in my heart that she will survive her journey with Jamie.
  • Varys always gives me the creeps.
  • I just need Arya to survive.
  • Sansa’s life is horrible.
  • Now finally we come to the highlight of the episode, and maybe the person that is becoming the highlight of the series: Daenerys Stormborn, Mother of Dragons, Bad Bitch Extraordinaire.  She is such a smart cookie and she just gained thousands of trained fighters for her army AND still has three dragons.  She stays smoking hot literally throughout each step.  I love her and even though I think she might sort of be considered a bad guy from everyone in Westeros, her story line makes me cheer her on every step.  What a badass.

Episode 25 – Kissed By Fire

Tyrion convinces Olenna to pay for part of the royal wedding. Sansa tells Baelish about her decision to stay in King’s Landing. The Lannisters discover the Tyrells’ plot to marry off Sansa to Loras. To prevent the union, Tywin plans to marry Sansa to Tyrion, and Cersei to Loras, despite the siblings’ protests. Stannis confesses his infidelity to his wife, Selyse, who then tells him she already knows and approves of it. His daughter, Shireen, sneaks into the dungeon to visit Seaworth and starts teaching him to read. Sandor kills Dondarrion and is released. However, Dondarrion is resurrected seemingly by the power of the Lord of Light. Gendry decides to stay with the Brotherhood, and Thoros and Dondarrion plan to ransom Arya to Robb. After being delivered to Bolton, Jaime confesses to Brienne why he killed Aerys. Robb executes Karstark after the latter murders two captive Lannister boys. With the Karstarks abandoning him, Robb plans to make a desperate alliance with Frey. Jon Snow succumbs to Ygritte’s seduction and breaks his vows. The Unsullied select a warrior called Grey Worm as their leader on Daenerys’ order.

Thoughts: A decent episode.  Not many thoughts.

  • Yet again, Sansa’s life gets worse and worse.  I feel for Tyrion, not being able to have any say in the matter at all.
  • Stannis bores me.
  • I’m not sure where the Gendry storyline is going.  I think Arya had a little crush on him? But then again, if you told me that Arya didn’t like boys yet and only cared about getting revenge, I’d probably believe you.
  • Highlight of the episode: Jon Snow getting some assssss son.  Ygritte is foxy and good for both of them.  Jon and Ygritte are both bona fide hotties and this shit is getting hot hot hot.  More of those two please.

Episode 26 – The Climb

In King’s Landing, Tywin coerces Olenna into agreeing to marry Loras to Cersei, who reveals to Tyrion that it was Joffrey who tried to have him killed during the siege. Tyrion confesses to Shae and Sansa about the upcoming marriage. Baelish tells Varys that he has caught Ros as Varys’ informant and has given her to Joffrey, who kills her. In the Riverlands, Melisandre buys Gendry from the Brotherhood, foretelling that Arya will kill many people. Robb makes a new deal with Frey by agreeing to give him Harrenhal and marry his uncle Edmure to Frey’s daughter, Roslin. Bolton plans to send Jaime to King’s Landing, but refuses to send Brienne with him. At an unknown location, the mysterious man continues to torture Theon. In the North, tension arises between Osha and Meera. Beyond the Wall, Tarly continues his flight with Gilly and her son, while Snow and Ygritte manage to climb the Wall with two other Wildlings.

Thoughts: We had some good stuff here.

  • My hate for Joffrey has returned.  It never really went away, it was just dormant for a few episodes.  He is such a little punk bitch and I’m glad he didn’t marry Sansa.  No Stark will go through any sort of treatment like that on my watch. (This was written before I watched the whole season..)
  • Gendry is gone and that Red Woman has to be up to something.  I really don’t trust her in any way.
  • Robb’s new deal should be big, but honestly I’m nervous because people have told me that some wedding is coming up in the middle seasons that changes everything and I’m nervous that this is the one.
  • Big shoutout to Jon and Ygritte for that climb and a big fuck you to the wildling that is crazy jealous of Jon and tried to cut him and Ygritte lose.  (Sidenote: That guy is what all wildlings should look like.  Gross and disgusting.  Ygritte is hot as balls.)

Episode 27 – The Bear and the Maiden Fair

In the North, Jojen tells Bran they must go beyond the Wall to find the raven, to Osha’s horror. Snow and Ygritte’s relationship deepens, making fellow Wildling Orell angry. Theon is emasculated by his torturer. Talisa reveals to Robb that she is pregnant. Arya runs away from the Brotherhood, only to be captured by Sandor. Melisandre reveals to Gendry that his father was Robert. Shae tells Tyrion that she will not continue their relationship once he marries Sansa. Tywin counsels Joffrey and discusses Daenerys, with the former dismissing the danger she might pose. Daenerys reaches the city of Yunkai and declares war on them. Bolton departs Harrenhall for Edmure’s wedding while Jaime says farewell to Brienne and departs for King’s Landing. On the road, he finds out that Locke refused Brienne’s father’s ransom. Jaime returns to Harrenhall to find Brienne in a pit fighting a bear. He leaps in and saves Brienne and departs once more, this time with her.

Thoughts: I’m sorry if I don’t have many crazy takes yet.  Not many crazy things happening.  I’m sure shit will hit the fan once I get comfortable, though.

  • I knew that gross wildling was pissed that Jon came in and made him look like a turd.  Ygritte knows what she wants and she wants a handful of Jon.
  • This Sandor guy gets less gross the more I see him.  Maybe it is because of every other disgusting action and beheadings and all that jazz.  So he ain’t too shabby now.
  • I feel for Shae.  She is smart as shit and is very deceitful but I don’t see a way that her and Tyrion can end up together safely.
  • Tywin usually says things and acts correctly but here he could not be more wrong.  Daenerys is the biggest living threat in this show and I can’t wait for her to shove her dragons up Tywin’s ass.
  • Yunkai has 0% chance of winning this war.  That’s just a fact.
  • Cool move by one-handed Jamie to jump in and save Brienne.  She hasn’t had much go her way in life, so it was neat to see her get a victory for the first time in awhile.

Episode 28 – Second Sons

King’s Landing hosts Tyrion and Sansa’s wedding. Cersei shows displeasure upon Margaery and Loras. At the wedding feast Tyrion gets drunk and causes a scene, with Tywin demanding he make a baby soon. In their bedroom, Tyrion tells Sansa that they will not consummate their marriage until she wants to. Sandor reveals to Arya that they are heading for the Twins to ransom her to Robb. Stannis releases Seaworth, demanding he respect Melisandre, who arrives in Dragonstone with Gendry, whom she seduces and extracts blood from him with three leeches. In a magical ritual, Stannis casts them into the fire naming three usurpers: Robb, Balon and Joffrey. Daenerys finds out that Yunkai has employed a mercenary company called the “Second Sons”. One of the lieutenants named Naharis kills the other leaders and pledges his and the company’s loyalty to Daenerys. Tarly and Gilly are attacked by a White Walker, whom the former destroys by the dragonglass dagger.

Thoughts: Solid episode.


  • Sansa is still fine as shit.  But I still feel terrible for her.  Her life is absolutely awful. The only good part is that she got lucky and married Tyrion and not punk-ass Joffrey.
  • I friggen’ hope we can get at least one reunion scene with Arya and her family.  Let’s get the Starks back together and fuck up the Seven Kingdoms.
  • I guess the Red Woman could be setting spells on these three guys, but I just get so bored when it comes to this storyline.  She bothers me and while I found her attractive, her personality has lost my interest.  Hit the road lady.
  • Daenerys might have the entire world other than the Seven Kingdoms when she is all finished.  She is amazing and I might not just love her, I think I am in love with her.
  • Fuck yeah Sam! Way to impress your lady by killing what is already dead.  But seriously, what a break.  We need to find out how to get more Dragonglass ASAP.

Episode 29 – Rains of Castamere

Tarly, Gilly and her son arrive at the Wall. During a thunderstorm, Bran enters Hodor’s mind to calm him down, an ability not possessed by any Wildling. Nearby, Snow refuses to kill a farmer, whom Ygritte kills before Snow is attacked by the other Wildlings. Bran uses his warg ability to save Snow, who kills Orell before escaping, leaving a furious Ygritte behind with chief Giantsbane. Osha, Rickon and his direwolf depart for the Last Hearth, while Bran and his remaining company plan to go beyond the Wall. Daenerys sends Mormont, Naharis and Grey Worm to infiltrate Yunkai and open the city gate for her army. Yunkai soon falls to her forces. Robb arrives at the Twins and apologizes to Walder, who feigns acceptance. Edmure marries Roslin and they leave to consummate their marriage before Walder’s men murder Catelyn, Talisa and most of the Stark bannermen, while Bolton, revealed to be loyal to the Lannisters, kills Robb. Arya also arrives at the Twins and witnesses a part of the massacre, but Sandor knocks her unconscious and carries her to safety.

Thoughts: Jesus. Fucking. Christ.  I honestly thought I had the flu after watching this episode.  I did not need this in my life right now with all that’s going on with Global Warming and the Trump/Jong Un rivalry and all that stuff.  God damnit.

  • Bran may be able to tear some shit up now that he knows he has the ability to enter people’s minds.
  • Daenerys will rule the world, yadda yadda yadda.
  • The REAL highlight here is obviously the massacre of the Starks… What the actual fuck?  The Starks have been through enough and just when Robb makes some ground, he dies all because of the janitor from Hogwarts-looking-ass Walder.  What a loser.  This ugly piece of shit has to bang his ugly daughters in order to get any action.  Fuck you, Walder.  I don’t care that you broke your elbow.  You bitch.  Watching Lady Catelyn get her throat cut was like watching my favorite middle school teacher die right in front of me.  She showed me strength and leadership.  And I seriously thought Arya was going to die in that massacre too.  I probably would’ve stopped watching the whole series all together.


Episode 30 – Mhysa

The mastermind of the massacre is revealed to be Tywin, who awards the House Frey the Seat of Riverrun and appoints Bolton as the Warden of the North. Theon’s captor is revealed to be Ramsay, Bolton’s bastard who let the former’s men leave Winterfell in exchange for surrendering him. Against Balon’s wishes, Yara decides to rescue Theon. Arya and Sandor kill some Frey soldiers mocking Robb’s death. Arriving in the capital with Brienne, Jaime is reunited with Cersei. In the North, Tarly’s party encounters Bran’s and gives them the Dragonglass weapons before arriving back at Castle Black, where he and Maester Aemon send ravens to alert the Seven Kingdoms to the White Walkers. Being hit several times, Jon still manages to escape from Ygritte and returns to Castle Black. In Dragonstone, Seaworth helps Gendry escape, while Stannis decides to head north and aid the Watch against the White Walker threat, forgiving the former and keeping him. In Essos, the freed slaves of Yunkai receive Daenerys as their “mother”.

Thoughts: If we are in the Trust Tree here, it tooks me almost a week to watch another episode after episode 29.  I still don’t feel good about this.

  • Fuck Tywin.  I hate him but I have to respect him.  He knows how to handle a war and knows the moves it takes to win one.  (Hat tip, middle finger)
  • Ramsey is a psychopath and actually makes me feel uncomfortable.  After everything in this show, this is the guy who makes me feel uneasy.  He is seriously insane and when somebody is that insane, you have no idea what they will do next.
  • It looks like Arya is getting a little taste for blood.  She has killed a couple of people now and will need to stay this tough to help the Stark name live on.
  • I’m glad Sam gave Bran some dragonglass, the word needs to get around on how to defeat the White Walkers.
  • After seeing the Starks die last episode, I might as well see Jon die this episode.  Who really cares anymore right? I’m sure Arya will die next.
  • I would call Daenerys mommy any time of the day.  Any day of the week.  I love you Daenerys.


What a goddamn season.  What a goddamn show.

I think I am comfortable saying this now… This is a good show.

I’m pumped to see Season 4.  Fuck Joffrey.  Fuck the janitor from Hogwarts.  LETS FUCKING RISE STARKS.

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My First Time Through Game of Thrones – Season 2 Thoughts

If you haven’t read my thoughts on Season 1, find that right hurrrr.

We’re getting there.  2 Down, 5 to go.  Season 2 was a little more of a buildup than season 1.  I never had the shock factor that Ned gave me in season 1, but I’m getting more and more sucked in every episode.

So here we go.  Again, each episode will have wikipedia’s recap followed by my expert reactions.  Let’s do this shiz:

Episode 11 – The North Remembers

To Cersei‘s dismay, Tyrion takes up his post as acting Hand at King’s Landing. At DragonstoneStannis proclaims allegiance to Melisandre‘s new god and lays public claim to the Iron Throne, revealing Joffrey‘s bastardy. The latter orders the soldiers to slaughter Robert‘s bastards, one of whom named Gendry manages to escape King’s Landing along with Arya. Having won three victories, Robb offers the Lannisters peace in exchange for the North’s independence and Sansa‘s return, sending Theon to gain the support of Balon, his father, and Catelyn to seek alliance with Renly, who also claims the throne. Beyond the Wall, the Night’s Watch finds shelter with Craster and his daughters/wives. In Essos, as her people slowly die in the Red WasteDaenerys sends out riders for reconnaissance.

Thoughts: I think Tyrion actually makes the perfect hand.  The hand of the King needs to be able to think a few moves ahead and keep the King on the right track and Tyrion might be the smartest person on this show.  So just because the guy’s brother dies, means he goes to a new god? I don’t get that one.  Also, what are the odds that the one person that Arya escapes with is Robert’s bastard? Wow. Can you say COINCIDENCE?!?! Gee wiz.  I’m still not sure what I feel about Theon.  He kept getting the comments that he wasn’t a true Stark or something like that, so I’m not sure how his actual father will treat him either.  Finally, Daenerys’s lips are disgusting.  Easily the most unattractive thing about her.

Episode 12 – The Night Lands

Returning to his home of Pyke after nine years as the Starks’ ward, Theon is reunited with his sister, Yara, and Balon, who despises Theon for his Northern ways and intends to win back his crown by force. Cersei rejects Robb’s terms and Tyrion exiles Slynt, head of the Gold Cloaks, to the Wall, promoting Bronn to commander of the watch. On the road to the Wall, Arya reveals her true identity to Gendry. North of the Wall, Tarly is approached by one of Craster’s daughters, Gilly, who is pregnant and fears for her unborn son; Snow is reluctant to help her despite Tarly’s pleas. In the Red Waste, one of the horses returns to Daenerys with the severed head of its rider in a pouch, a message from one of her enemies. In Dragonstone, Davos, Stannis’s henchman, recruits the pirate Salladhor Saan to Stannis’ side, and the latter has sex with Melisandre to obtain the son his wife cannot give him. Snow discovers that Craster sacrifices his sons to the White Walkers; in response, Craster knocks Snow unconscious.

Thoughts: First off, when Theon was flirting with his sister, even before we knew it was his sister, I was so uncomfortable.  She is disgusting.  Looks like a man version of Amy Schumer.  Yikes.  Second, his dad is a complete douche.  This guy thinks he can attain King’s Landing?  I literally haven’t heard a thing about him all series.  No rumor of how dangerous the Iron Islands are.  This guy is delirious.  I’m glad Bronn got promoted.  I like that guy.  He isn’t the best guy, actually one of the worst, but he is honest and doesn’t want to play the game that is the Capital.  I’m glad a girl finally talked to Sam, he needed it.  The whole phrase daughter/wive is disturbing.  I honestly felt gross typing it with my own hands, so this Craster guy can fuck right off at any time.  I’m not surprised about the sacrificing of the boys thing.  Seemed a little sketchy right away.


Episode 13 – What is Dead May Never Die

Catelyn arrives at Renly’s camp to negotiate an alliance, watching the female warrior Brienne of Tarth winning the right to join Renly’s guard. Renly has recently married Margaery, Loras’s sister, but refuses to have sex with her due to having feelings for Loras. In the Iron Islands, Balon makes a plan to attack the North, led by Yara. After burning a letter warning Robb of Balon’s impending attack, Theon re-joins the Greyjoys in a water-based ceremony. In King’s Landing, Tyrion crafts a plan to find who is in Cersei’s confidence; finding it to be Pycelle, whom the former imprisons. Tyrion assigns his prostitute, Shae, as handmaiden to Sansa. Beyond the Wall, Craster demands the Night’s Watchmen leave. Snow finds out that Jeor already knew about Craster’s felonies. On the road to the wall, the band of Night’s Watch recruits are attacked by Lannister soldiers. Yoren is killed and Arya is taken prisoner. The latter states that Gendry was a boy already killed.

Thoughts: Brienne is a total badass.  She is also as big as a tree.  And has a deeper voice than me.  But congrats to her for winning that tournament.  She has a chip on her shoulder, which I feel like is needed in that time.  You have to prove yourself and kick some ass.  Next, Margaery is a total fox.  Renly definitely is only playing for one team if his feelings for Loras are stopping him from Margaery.  Theon going back to the Greyjoy’s seems so dumb.  That’s like leaving the Warriors to join the Blazers because you were born in Oregon.  (What a great reference, Colton.)  Back to King’s Landing, BOOM.  Tyrion is showing how smart he is.  The guy sniffed out a rat and found it without lifting a tiny little finger.  Badass.  Finally, Arya is showing that she might be the smartest person in this show other than Tyrion.  She is a monster.  And I’m pretty sure she’s only like 11 years old.  Still the leading candidate for my favorite character so far, but I don’t want to get too attached to anyone because I know once I do, they will get beheaded in front of the people of King’s Landing (RIP Ned).

Episode 14 – Garden of Bones

Catelyn tries to convince the Baratheon brothers to abandon their quarrel and unite against the Lannisters; but Stannis demands Renly submit to his command. Baelish visits her and offers a trade of Jaime for her daughters. Melisandre gives birth to a shadow creature. Sansa is abused by Joffrey in revenge for Robb’s victories. Tyrion intervenes and in return, Joffrey is cruel to the prostitutes Tyrion sends him as “gifts”. Tyrion releases Pycelle, but fires him from the Small Council. Tyrion also finds out about the incestuous relationship between Cersei and their cousin, Lancel, forcing the latter to spy on her by threatening to reveal it to Joffrey. Arya and Gendry are taken as captives to the castle of Harrenhal, where prisoners are tortured until death. Tywin arrives and stops the torture, picking her as his servant without knowing about her true identity. After her exhausting journey through the desert, Daenerys arrives at the gates of the prosperous city of Qarth, where Daxos, a member of the Council of Thirteen, convinces the others to let her caravan enter the city.

Thoughts: Didn’t really think of much of the brothers exchange, so let’s move on.  Baelish is literal scum of this earth.  He HAS to smell bad.  His personality and his body odor have to match up.  The red woman then comes in hot with a shadow monster? What the actual fuck.  It looks like she just declared her allegiance to “He Who Must Not Be Named”.  I need answers and I need them now.  But moving on to the highlight of this episode… Bitch-Ass Joffrey.  This guy is insane.  He first beats Sansa because her brother is kicking his ass and then the scene with the prostitutes… Jesus Christ.  Joffrey is literally a crazy person.  I can’t remember the last time I felt this way about any character ever.  But what’s crazy is that I don’t want him to die right away.  I want Arya to grow up and Joffrey to grow up and Arya kill the shit out of Joffrey in the most public way possible.  Just embarrass him.   Drag the Lannister name through the mud. Fuck Joffrey.

Episode 15 – The Ghost of Harrenhal

H’ghar, one of the three caged prisoners Arya saved, pledges to kill three people of her choosing in order to repay his debt to her. She accepts and first chooses the Tickler, the man who mortally tortured the captives. After Renly’s death at the hands of Melisandre’s shadowy assassin, Catelyn and Brienne, who are accused of the murder, are forced to flee from the camp. Excluding the Tyrells, Renly’s forces submit to Stannis. Brienne swears loyalty to Catelyn. Theon sails from Pyke prepared to prove that he is a true Ironborn, with plans to capture Winterfell while Robb is absent. Tyrion learns from Lancel about the Wildfire, a burning substance mass produced to destroy Stannis’ fleet and army during the upcoming siege. Tyrion takes control of the scheme. The Night’s Watch arrives at an ancient fortress called the Fist of the First Men, where Jeor allows Snow to join the team led by a veteran named Halfhand in order to kill the enemy leader. In Qarth, Daxos proposes marriage to Daenerys in exchange for providing her with the wealth to conquer the Seven Kingdoms. Jorah convinces her to gain the support of the Westerosi people instead.

Thoughts: This H’ghar guy is awesome.  Super weird that he is taking death orders from a random little girl, but he is a complete ninka out there.  He kills the Tickler and watches him fall to the public without giving a shit.  Cool ass dude.  I hope Arya catches these breaks throughout the whole series.  Brienne might only be second to the Mountain it comes to the brute strength power rankings in this show.  She is an absolute shit brickhouse.  Catelyn is in some pretty decent hands.  Theon is starting to get on my nerves.  He just seems like a little kid trying to conquer Winterfell when Bran is in charge.  Bitch move.  Finally, shoutout to Daxos for shooting his shot with Daenerys and asking her to marry him.  He even said something like, “I’ve already married for love so this is just a business move.”  Whatever dude.  You want what literally every other straight man in Qarth wants and that is a handful of Khaleesi.  Theres no way she falls for it.  She’s a badass bitch and will see right through your bullshit.

Episode 16 – The Old Gods and the New

Myrcella, Cersei’s daughter, is sent away from King’s Landing. Theon manages to take Winterfell and executes Cassel, a henchman, for insulting him. Osha, the captured wildling, helps Brandon and Rickon escape. Robb reunites with the healer Maegyr. At the Fist of the First Men, Snow captures a Wildling named Ygritte, but gets separated from his patrol when she tries to escape and he is forced to chase her. Joffrey incites a riot at King’s Landing, in which he is nearly killed and Sansa is nearly raped. Tywin allows Baelish to seek the allegiance of the Tyrells. An officer suspects Arya; and she has H’ghar kill him. Robb receives news of Theon’s plans and sends men to retake Winterfell. At Qarth, Daenerys tries to procure a ship to take her people to Westeros, all the while keeping Daxos at bay. Daenerys’ dragons are stolen.

Thoughts: Okay so Cersei’s daughter is gone.  Boo hoo.  Theon somehow defeated an 8-year-old leader.  Cool.  Two things jumped out to me here.  1. Obviously, Joffrey almost dying in a riot.  That would’ve been lame as balls if that’s how he goes. 2. Ygritte is way hotter than I expected any of the wildlings to be.  She’s got very nice teeth and is totally into Jon.  Dragons are also stolen, but I’m sure Daenerys will just kick the shit out of anyone who stole them.


Episode 17 – A Man Without Honor

Theon begins tracking Brandon and Rickon. Tywin begins searching Harrenhal for the murderer. Ygritte continues her attempts to seduce Snow and, after a momentary lapse in Jon’s concentration, she escapes and leads him into a trap. Still shaken from the riot, Sansa is horrified when she awakens to find that she has had her first menstruation and can thus bear Joffrey’s children. Cersei warns her to love no one but her children, not even Joffrey. In Robb’s camp, a failed escape attempt by Jaime leaves a guard dead, with some soldiers seeking retribution. In Qarth, the warlock Pree reveals to Daenerys that he stole her dragons, but gives her the opportunity to reunite with them before slaughtering the Council of Thirteen and establishing Daxos as the king. Theon presents to Luwin and his subjects the charred corpses of two boys, claiming that he has tracked down and killed Brandon and Rickon.

Thoughts: Theon is a loser.  He is getting outsmarted by two boys, a wildling and an Hodor.  Ygritte on the other hand is way smarter than Jon, but definitely still wants to bang him.  Not surprised Jon got captured.  He’s too innocent, like a child.  I feel like Arya can outsmart him at this point.  It was cool to see a real side of Cersei.  It kind of sounds like she was once Sansa and had to adapt to being this badass bitch in order to really survive and not be miserable at King’s Landing.  Jamie is a sinister little boy on the other hand.  I think his experience in war has desensitized him to literally everything.  If he escapes, he would definitely be the kind of character that would come back and kill a fan favorite just because of how evil he is.  Finally, this warlock guy named Pree is disgusting.  His gross color and blue lips are terrifying and I can’t say I like a single thing about him.


Episode 18 – The Prince of Winterfell

Robb learns that Catelyn has secretly freed Jaime, now escorted by Brienne, in order to ransom Sansa and Arya; he locks her in her tent and sends men to find them, also entering into a romantic relationship with Talisa. Yara arrives at Winterfell to bring Theon back to Pyke, blaming him for his actions. Tywin leaves Harrenhal to attack Robb, which leads Arya, Gendry and their friend Hot Pie to attempt an escape with the help of H’ghar, who agrees in order for Arya to refrain from naming H’ghar himself as the third man to kill. In King’s Landing, Cersei attempts to blackmail Tyrion by abducting the prostitute, Ros, whom the former believes to be his secret lover. On the way to King’s Landing, Stannis promises Seaworth to make him his Hand of the King. Beyond the Wall, the Wildling leader “Rattleshirt” leads the captured Snow and Halfhand to his king, Rayder. At the Fist of the First Men, the brothers of the Night’s Watch find a hidden cache of dragonglass. In Qarth, Jorah agrees to accompany Daenerys into the House of the Undying to retrieve her dragons. Brandon and Rickon are revealed to be alive and hiding in Winterfell.

Thoughts: If this whole thing falls through just because Littlefinger lied to Cat, I’m going to be so pissed.  I hate that guy.  Good for Robb by the way, Talisa is a smokeshow. Yum. It’s cool that this H’ghar guy can literally let those three walk out of Harrenhal.  Arya shows yet again that she is up there with Tyrion as one of the smartest ones out there.  I’ve heard a lot about this Dragonglass from my friends who have actually watched the show before, so I’m sure it’ll come back big.  And I knew Bran and Rickon weren’t dead.  Theon just sucks and is getting bamboozled by these elementary school kids.

Episode 19 – Blackwater

Baratheon’s fleet assaults King’s Landing. Leading the defense, Tyrion destroys many of the attacking ships with an exploding ship full of wildfire, forcing the former to attack on land. Sandor leads the defense outside the gate, but is defeated and returns inside, denouncing Joffrey and leaving. Joffrey also escapes. Tyrion convinces the Gold Cloaks to fight with him. Baratheon’s forces make it inside the castle, but Tyrion leads his men behind the Baratheon forces via underground tunnels and attacks. Cersei goes to the throne room with Tommen, intending to kill him. Shae convinces Sansa to go to her chamber, where Sandor offers to take her back to Winterfell; but she decides to stay. As Tyrion is wounded and Cersei is about to poison Tommen, Tywin’s forces, joined by Loras, arrive and defeat Baratheon’s forces, with the latter forced to retreat.

Thoughts: This battle scene was cool.  I’m normally not a big fan of action like this, but I liked how they built up the planning and then actually show it in action.  Tyrion is a smart little cookie and that wildfire was nuts.  I also loved seeing people hate on Joffrey for being a pussy and supporting Tyrion for being brave.  Gross ass cut for Tyrion though.  Not only is he an Imp, hated and considered a drunk, but now will be scared and thought of as even more of a monster.  Bad break, my man.

Episode 20 – Valar Morghulis

Joffrey sets Sansa aside in favor of marrying Margaery while Tyrion fears for his and Shae’s safety now that Tywin has replaced him as Hand and relieved Bronn from his command. Melisandre gives Stannis a new hope. Brienne and Jaime are spotted by three Stark soldiers, whom she kills. Catelyn fails to dissuade Robb from marrying Talisa. In Qarth, Daenerys ventures into the House of the Undying and successfully retrieves her dragons, who kill Pree. She then seals Daxos inside his own vault and claims his wealth for herself. In Winterfell, Theon tries to convince his men to fight Robb’s army, but is knocked unconscious by them, who decide to leave. A dying Luwin convinces Brandon’s party to go to the Wall. Arya, having escaped Harrenhal with Hot Pie and Gendry, receives the gift of a valuable coin from H’ghar, who magically changes his face. North of the Wall, Halfhand forces Snow to kill him to prove his loyalty to the wildlings while an army of White Walkers surrounds the Fist of the First Men.

Thoughts: Joffrey is one lucky ass dude.  Both Sansa and Margaery are hot as balls so the choice between them is a good problem to have.  But like everyone says, “If you have two potential queens, you really have none”  So he made a decision and went with the heavy hitter Margaery.  Not too shabby.  Total babe.  Smart as shit and I can get behind her littler smirk she always has on her face.  Then, watching Daenerys making it out of the House of the Undead was the mortal lock of the century.  It was like watching Tom Brady in the two-minute drill.  No doubt in my mind.  This H’ghar guy might be an angel.  Or not real in any way.  I have no clue what to think of him.  And finally, as the season ends, we finally get a look at the HUGE hoard of White Walkers.  I’ve been a huge fan of the Walking Dead for awhile now and I have the same thoughts for both shows.  How the hell are you going to defeat a group of people that are already dead? White Walkers are the real threat here.


Well that’s it y’all.  Season two in the books.  I’m still hooked AF on the show and I will for sure catch up before long.

Season Three Thoughts will be out soon.

Thank you for reading.  If you enjoyed, don’t forget to subscribe to the website.  Check out our other blogs, videos and podcasts.  Follow us on Twitter @BackUpQB_Blog & Facebook  to easily keep up with the sports and lifestyle blogs.

Finally, a Team That Can Beat the Warriors in a 7 Game Series

So as we were planning our next episode of  Live From the 815, me and Jake talked about what starting 5 of fictional basketball characters could beat the Warriors in a 7 game series. You can listen tomorrow to get Jake’s 5, but I am here to give you a breakdown of my squad:

PG: Air Bud

One of the first names that came to mind. The Warriors like to play a fast paced game. Running up and down the floor tiring out the defense. I need someone who is in shape and can run with the best of them with ease. Air Bud is in great basketball shape and will always give it his all out there. He’d be a tough match up on both ends. 

SG: Lucas Scott

Lucas was always the lesser talented Scott son. But like Air Bud, he alwyas showed heart. He brings intangibles to a team that are hard to find. A good coach needs his best players to also be his best people. A guy like Scott will keep the team grounded and level headed during a heated series and won’t have anyone get under his skin.  On top of that, his basketball IQ is off the charts and he shows that by becoming Tree Hill’s coach in later seasons. It’s always nice to be on the same page as one of your players on the court. It gives the coach more confidence in his squad. 

SF: Dimitri Petrovich 

This may be a shocking move to some of you out there. And I will admit, this pick may make or break my team. But “Paste” was always one of my first picks in Backyard Basketball. He is absolutely deadly from downtown. He has decent size and will always be a guy that can get hot and take a quarter over. A great option to answer a 3 if needed. He basically has no emotions, and that includes nerves. Dimitri has ice in his veins and doesn’t care who the other team is, he calculated the trajectory of his shot and can adjust his formula to accommodate any defender. Dimitri is my dark horse that may just push my squad over the top. 

PF: Billy Hoyle

The Warriors like to go small so I will too. Hoyle doesn’t have the prototypical NBA size of a power forward, but he’s going to hustle out there. Always being underestimated, Billy will leave everything he has on the court to show that he can play. The man can ball. His style of play is perfect for the league right now. He has the speed and the leaping ability to jump out of the gym and his jumper isn’t anything to sleep on either. A big reason I picked him over Sydney Deane is because Billy won the initial shooting contest between the two. One of the easiest times you can judge their abilities against each other. One won and one lost.  He’s got some work to do on defense against these Warriors, but I picked him for a reason. 

C: The Orange Monstar

This might be my most confident pick. The Orange Monstar from Space Jam is the perfect fit for this squad. He’s got a mean streak in him and loves to Billy his opponents, which will be perfect for dealing with Dreymond. He has natural leadership qualities, as he seems to be the leader of the group from Moron Mountain. This Monstar gives us the size advantage 10x over. With actual coaching and a good team around him, he has the potential and size to completely dominate the paint. Like a young Magic Shaq out there. Now, I think he takes over Charles Barkley’s abilities, so rebounding is all taken care of. As long as he doesn’t have to face anyone on Michael’s Secret Stuff, I think he will be an asset in helping me take down the defending champions. 

So there you have it. The Warriors have absolutely no chance. They may score 130 a game, but we’re going to score a million. We have everything: shooting, speed, intelligence, grit and a chip on our shoulder that will not leave until we take down these bastards. #NewSuperteam

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